The Taliban or rabid pit bulls: which would you allow your children to play with?
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | August 17, 2021 1:16 PM |
Can New York Times Pitchbot send a correspondent to the White House press corps?
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | August 20, 2021 1:42 PM |
He's so good, he's even predicted some.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 8 | August 20, 2021 5:01 PM |
Some of these are pretty spot on. They should be sure to include more headlines linking some random disaster to the Clintons, ie " Two months Prior to Covid Crisis, Bill and Hillary Clinton Held a Party in the Hamptons, Allege Critics".
| by Anonymous | reply 11 | August 20, 2021 5:23 PM |
Hahahaha. These are so great. Totally nails their pathetic, lazy, click-bait both sides-ism headlines.
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | August 20, 2021 5:27 PM |
This Red State couple died on ventilators within 48 hours of each other. Here's why Democrats are still taking them for granted.
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | August 20, 2021 5:39 PM |
These working class white voters straight up hate Blacks. Maybe Biden should start listening.
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | August 20, 2021 5:46 PM |
Good find, OP.
And you're dependably cunty for "brill".
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | August 20, 2021 6:29 PM |
This has fast become my very favorite DL thread at this point.
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | August 23, 2021 2:28 PM |
New York Times Pitchbot = New York Post Headline Generator
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | August 23, 2021 4:06 PM |
Doug J is at the 'Balloon Juice' blog. He's genius.
It's also an interesting blog to read because the 'blog owner', John Cole, used to be a right winger. The Terry Schiavo case shook him up (as a final straw, I guess) and he's now a rabid Democrat.
| by Anonymous | reply 26 | August 28, 2021 5:07 PM |
They should include a REAL article New York Times published in 2016 " Why Melania May Be Our Best First Lady Yet" ( I'm not making this up , google it).
| by Anonymous | reply 32 | August 30, 2021 8:40 PM |
R32, he links to their real articles with no comment all the time. It's amazing how often you wouldn't know the difference.
| by Anonymous | reply 33 | August 30, 2021 8:41 PM |
Maybe they could add even more parodies of New York Times putrid op ed columnists. I'm thinking " Effeminate Democrats No Match For Manly Republicans" or " Kamala Harris, Mean Girl in Chief" by Maureen Dowd. Or " Why Birth Control Is Modern Genocide" by Elizabeth Breunig . Or some faux condescending moralizing by David Brooks or Ross Douthat , ie " An Ode to the Importance of Personal Responsibility"
| by Anonymous | reply 35 | August 30, 2021 8:48 PM |
^ He does skewer the op-ed columnists.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 36 | August 30, 2021 9:43 PM |
Life imitates the Pitchbot
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 37 | August 31, 2021 11:58 AM |
These really aren't funny. I get it, but the problem with the Times is navel-gazing and a smug tone for domestic reporting. Contrarian mish-mash is more of a Guardian thing.
| by Anonymous | reply 38 | August 31, 2021 12:02 PM |
the person who is posting all the links here is the person who owns the twitter account?
| by Anonymous | reply 39 | August 31, 2021 12:07 PM |
OMG! I am laughing so hard! Someone needs to do a pitchbot for Vice and Buzzfeed!
| by Anonymous | reply 41 | August 31, 2021 5:19 PM |
I love how they retweet user submissions
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 43 | September 2, 2021 5:00 PM |
I laughed so hard at this one.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 45 | September 2, 2021 7:52 PM |
Close enough in spirit to warrant a mention here:
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 46 | September 2, 2021 8:09 PM |
Close enough in spirit or not r46, that was wonderful.
| by Anonymous | reply 47 | September 2, 2021 8:58 PM |
Yeah, they did such a good job in their old country...
| by Anonymous | reply 52 | September 6, 2021 5:00 PM |
The MoDo parodies are priceless
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 57 | September 14, 2021 3:32 PM |
What is even the fucking point of that Douthat column?
Currently the Covid death toll reaches the same as 9/11 every 1.5 DAYS. In what universe would the NYT run a column like this: "It's much easier having gone through 9/11 without knowing anyone who died that day. What if 30,000 people had died on 9/11?"
| by Anonymous | reply 60 | September 19, 2021 2:55 PM |
I follow Typos of the New York Times. The sheer weight of grammatical and spelling and just plain logical errors is astounding
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 61 | September 19, 2021 3:00 PM |
Of course the Pitchbot has been on it all morning.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 62 | September 19, 2021 3:02 PM |
[quote] These really aren't funny. I get it, but the problem with the Times is navel-gazing and a smug tone for domestic reporting. Contrarian mish-mash is more of a Guardian thing.
Huh? First of all, they’re hysterical. Second, the NYT really IS like this.
| by Anonymous | reply 65 | September 23, 2021 4:18 PM |
The New York Times Pitchbot and the New Yorker have achieved singularity.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 67 | October 1, 2021 9:42 PM |
This account reminds me of Accidental Alan Patridge
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 68 | October 1, 2021 10:12 PM |
Maureen Dowd is clearly a secret follower of this account.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 69 | October 3, 2021 4:47 AM |
Currently my favorite thread on the DL.
| by Anonymous | reply 74 | October 8, 2021 9:02 AM |
Very possibly my favorite so far r77.
| by Anonymous | reply 78 | October 18, 2021 2:29 PM |
It's not funny. It's like that unfunny guy who writes political satire for the New Yorker or Stephen Colbert.
| by Anonymous | reply 81 | November 4, 2021 5:26 PM |
Still my favorite thread on DL r81.
Please feel free to ignore the thread.
| by Anonymous | reply 83 | November 4, 2021 5:33 PM |
I'm blocking the people in this thread who say these aren't funny. Appreciate your candor!
| by Anonymous | reply 84 | November 4, 2021 6:17 PM |
[quote]I follow Typos of the New York Times. The sheer weight of grammatical and spelling and just plain logical errors is astounding
R61, one of my favourite funny moments of 2021 was when Roxane Gay got in a (pretty much one-sided) Twitter fight with the Typos account because it pointed out an error in her article.
| by Anonymous | reply 87 | November 7, 2021 1:14 AM |
Glenn Greenwald: misunderstood hero or complex anti-hero? These trailer park residents have strong opinions.
| by Anonymous | reply 89 | November 13, 2021 2:08 PM |
These are really lame and unfunny.
| by Anonymous | reply 92 | November 22, 2021 2:07 PM |
You seem to have a deep understanding of both r92.
| by Anonymous | reply 93 | November 22, 2021 2:08 PM |
[quote]brill
Jesus Christ, you are retarded.
| by Anonymous | reply 108 | January 4, 2022 3:10 AM |
The Independent and the PItchbot have achieved singularity
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 110 | January 6, 2022 9:34 PM |
Enough to make a maggot gag.
| by Anonymous | reply 112 | January 27, 2022 5:12 PM |
Pitchbot fodder in today’s NYT—live from a diner in Ohio!
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 115 | February 7, 2022 8:55 PM |
Fuck! I wish I'd thought of that!
| by Anonymous | reply 117 | February 18, 2022 12:14 PM |
Not the Pitchbot.
The Times has never met a fascist it didn't love.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 118 | February 23, 2022 2:35 PM |
The Washington Post and the Pitchbot have achieved singularity
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 120 | March 1, 2022 2:46 PM |
NBC News and the Pitchbot have achieved singularity.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 121 | March 1, 2022 4:58 PM |
This is one of my favorite accounts on Twitter.
I am certain Dean Basquiet has no idea why it is funny
| by Anonymous | reply 122 | March 1, 2022 5:16 PM |
This is an actual headline in the NYT today, not a Pitchbot joke
"Analysis: Biden Hails Achieving Unity in Crisis, but Questions Remain"
| by Anonymous | reply 123 | March 2, 2022 1:53 PM |
The NYTimes is hopelessly broken.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 124 | March 2, 2022 1:55 PM |
The Pitchbot and the Independent have achieved singularity
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 125 | March 3, 2022 9:08 PM |
I find it delightfully wry and smirk/chortle
| by Anonymous | reply 127 | March 4, 2022 8:27 PM |
I do a collapsed face sour lemon acknowledgement of mirth
| by Anonymous | reply 128 | March 4, 2022 9:41 PM |
MSNBC and the Pitchbot have achieved singularity
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 130 | March 5, 2022 12:05 AM |
An actual headline the Pitchbot could have come up with
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 133 | March 11, 2022 11:59 AM |
The best thing about the Pitchbot are the retweets of articles that sound like they were written by the Pitchbot.
This one is classic:
[quote] Washington Post Opinions @PostOpinions
[quote] Volodymyr Zelensky has gone a long way toward redefining manhood in a time of gender muddle and animus toward men, @kathleenparker writes
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 135 | March 17, 2022 1:01 PM |
The apotheosis of a Pitchbot-bait editorial
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 136 | March 18, 2022 2:09 PM |
To date r140, I believe that is my favorite.
| by Anonymous | reply 141 | March 30, 2022 8:44 AM |
I don’t know her but she seems to be over-thinking satire.
| by Anonymous | reply 142 | March 30, 2022 9:59 AM |
The Pitchbot and the Times have achieved singularity
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 143 | March 30, 2022 3:07 PM |
R142 considering how many Pitchbot tweets later became almost identical headlines, I'd say the satire is pretty on-point.
| by Anonymous | reply 145 | March 31, 2022 6:55 PM |
They will ultimately have to pry this thread from my cold, dead Thread Watcher.
| by Anonymous | reply 146 | March 31, 2022 8:09 PM |
NYT Opinion piece by John McWhorter, 4/1/22:
[quote] What Will Smith and Joe Biden Have in Common
| by Anonymous | reply 147 | April 1, 2022 11:53 PM |
R147 I finally canceled my Times subscription because of that article
| by Anonymous | reply 149 | April 2, 2022 3:19 PM |
Happy Easter from the Pitchbot
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 152 | April 16, 2022 9:32 PM |
An actual Charles Blow column reads like a parody
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 153 | April 19, 2022 1:29 AM |
[quote] Sons of Sam
[quote] Studies show that crime in America started to decline 18 years after access to abortion began to reduce unwanted births. Can Alito's Roe reversal give America a new generation of superstar serial killers?
[quote] by Maureen Dowd
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 161 | May 7, 2022 4:56 AM |
[quote]For this humble Republican couple, it was a weekly tradition: a cut of filet mignon on the grill, a glass of $5,000 burgundy, and texting insurrection plans for the coup mob to Mark Meadows. But now the woke mob wants to take it all away.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 162 | May 7, 2022 7:25 AM |
Pitchbot retweeted this
Greenwald at his most insane
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 165 | May 13, 2022 1:43 AM |
I can actually imagine some of those being written by Ross Douthat and Bret Stephens in real life.
| by Anonymous | reply 166 | May 13, 2022 1:58 AM |
Greenwald is dead in the eyes, Putin's boy. A grotesquerie with his harem of rent boys who shudder when he comes near them.
| by Anonymous | reply 167 | May 13, 2022 2:25 AM |
r168, AHAHAHAHAHAH. THESE ARE ABSOLUTELY BRILLAINT. LOL.
| by Anonymous | reply 169 | May 17, 2022 7:13 PM |
Yo these are really really good. Seriously. Keep them coming.
| by Anonymous | reply 172 | May 18, 2022 10:17 PM |
The Dowd parodies deserve a Pulitzer
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 173 | May 19, 2022 5:17 PM |
Any article that has “Here’s why…” in the headline is known garbage.
| by Anonymous | reply 174 | May 19, 2022 5:28 PM |
Whether it's Democrats giving teen-agers Toni Morrison books to read in school or Republicans giving teen-agers assault weapons to shoot up schools, both sides have a problem with giving dangerous things to young people.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 177 | May 25, 2022 3:00 AM |
CNN and the Pitchbot achieved singularity
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 178 | May 25, 2022 7:49 PM |
How nearby school shootings could affect the property value of your second home
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 179 | May 26, 2022 1:17 AM |
Despite the loss of their children, Uvalde small business families are channeling grief into supporting GOP PACs.
| by Anonymous | reply 181 | May 29, 2022 8:23 PM |
This Is the End
After Ted Cruz‘s new school safety proposal, doors haven’t been this hot since the days of LA Woman and Light My Fire. But Texas schools seem more focused on Toni Morrison than Jim Morrison.
by Maureen Dowd
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 182 | May 29, 2022 9:20 PM |
In Coeur d’Alene, it was a Saturday tradition: grill some freshly hunted elk on the old Weber, put on a mask and freshly ironed pair of khakis, then pile into the U-Haul with AR-15s to scare the local homosexuals . But now, the woke mob is trying to take all that away.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 184 | June 12, 2022 2:50 PM |
The Lauren Boebert I Knew
How did the proud, open-minded escort I walked the streets with become a dangerous demagogue?
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 187 | June 15, 2022 8:10 PM |
Baby Love
The Supremes ruled that you can't hurry Roe, but their legal reasoning dates back more to Betsy Ross than to Diana Ross.
by Maureen Dowd
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 188 | June 24, 2022 5:13 PM |
Why did the proposal to remove abortion protections from the Kansas constitution ultimately fail? It was seen by voters as too woke.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 191 | August 3, 2022 1:12 PM |
So glad to see you back New York Times Pitchbot on Twitter!
| by Anonymous | reply 192 | August 3, 2022 2:05 PM |
Opinion | I was a lifelong liberal lesbian. Then I read Josh Hawley’s book on masculinity.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 193 | August 5, 2022 4:44 AM |
In this Ohio town, it was a tradition: Latin Mass, listen to a little Infowars, then over to the town where the school shooting happened to harass the grieving parents of the victims. But now the woke mob is trying to take all that away.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 194 | August 5, 2022 9:35 PM |
Pitchbot Progeny:
[quote]Oh sure, abortion is popular in *Kansas*, but how will it play in the heartland?
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 195 | August 5, 2022 10:51 PM |
NPR and the Pitchbot have achieved singularity
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 196 | August 12, 2022 11:59 AM |
r199 Damn, I posted that one elsewhere before checking this thread first. So, so funny. I also busted out laughing at the "Andrew Yang: We should put crudité on blockchain" from the other day.
| by Anonymous | reply 200 | August 29, 2022 12:56 AM |
HAHA, OMG.
[quote]Opinion | If you've ever accidentally taken a pen from a bank or a doctor's office, you probably know how Donald Trump feels right now.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 201 | August 29, 2022 12:59 AM |
[quote]In this Middle Earth village, it was a Sunday tradition: lazy second breakfast, a tall glass of mead, then over to the Maypole for a few rounds of whites only games and dancing. But now the woke mob is trying to take all of that away.
[quote]We wanted to understand the reasoning behind Judge Aileen Cannon's unprecedented special master order. So we talked to three unvaccinated QAnon members at a Jack in the Box in Flagstaff.
| by Anonymous | reply 204 | September 6, 2022 1:00 PM |
Yo this is fkin comedic genius. They should make a comedy parody movie inspired by r209.
| by Anonymous | reply 217 | October 21, 2022 4:05 PM |
The film would feature an all out war between wokesters and deplorables.
| by Anonymous | reply 218 | October 21, 2022 4:06 PM |
I found this on a right-wing twitter account, but it could be an NYT opinion piece. Please, Pitchbot, find this and use it for your tweets.
[quote] So far Democrats are having a better night than expected. Here's why that's bad news for Joe Biden.
| by Anonymous | reply 220 | November 9, 2022 3:53 AM |
All the Single Ladies
Sexy Sinema has become the Beyoncé of American politics, even if her politics aren’t very far to the left, to the left. Joe should’ve made like Jay and put a ring on it.
by Maureen Dowd
| by Anonymous | reply 221 | December 9, 2022 1:46 PM |
The Pitchbot has been defeated.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 225 | February 26, 2023 1:46 AM |
The Charles Blow tweet (and actual Blow headline:| A Biden Blood Bath) at R153 is priceless - it was from June 2022 and is a perfect example of the Times' wrongheaded thinking
I love that the Pitchbot also mocks Melissa Clark's relentless over the top purple prose in the Cooking section
| by Anonymous | reply 226 | February 26, 2023 2:17 AM |
A Manhattan jury on Tuesday found former President Donald J. Trump liable for the sexual abuse of the magazine writer E. Jean Carroll. Here’s why that’s bad news for Joe Biden.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 228 | May 9, 2023 9:23 PM |
