It's annoying to be in public and they randomly get people coming up to them and tell them how beautiful/stunning they are. It's a benefit to be in public with them because of the inadvertent attention and better service, particularly at restaurants.
| by Anonymous | reply 58 | November 28, 2019 4:28 AM |
I had one of these friends in my 20s. I've never felt more invisible. My friend was so jarringly handsome that one time a waitress took his order, never looked at me once, and then just walked away without taking my order. I had to walk into the kitchen to find her so I could place my order!!!
I would notice people starring at him, and what's weird it was usually hetero men. I was at a party with him and he's talking to a group of girls and I noticed a number of the men seething, staring at him, or constantly shooting glances at him.
Of course, he wasn't the brightest, but he was from a super super rich family, had a giant dick (he flashed us once), very charismatic and everyone loved him. (I will admit, I resented him and killed the friendship.)
| by Anonymous | reply 1 | November 26, 2019 4:52 PM |
Maybe they could charge for their services (rentahotfriend.com)? There's simply not enough of them to go around.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 2 | November 26, 2019 4:54 PM |
It has a halo effect on people who they associate with
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | November 26, 2019 4:56 PM |
R1 Are we to believe that you didn't have sex with him? If so, shame on you. Beautiful people like that love the attention and I'm sure you'd be glad to accommodate him.
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | November 26, 2019 5:02 PM |
I sense that this is a weird detriment for gorgeous hetero men like R1 mentions because they're constantly being targeted by other guys as competition, which leads to a lot of intimidation tactics. I've observed this happen and it's very awkward, couldn't imagine how awkward it feels for the guy.
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | November 26, 2019 5:03 PM |
...and on the other hand, if its a gorgeous gay guy in that same scenario of hetero men trying to intimidate/be aggressive with the good looking one, once they realize the gorgeous guys sexuality (whether it be through observance or whatnot) it's interesting how they immediately drop their guard and cool down.
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | November 26, 2019 5:05 PM |
I am friends with a stunningly handsome young man from Guam. Model-level looks. Beautiful smile, perfect skin, body to die for. I have been out in public with him quite a few times, and he never fails to get approached by women and men, out of the blue, asking if he's available.
He is married with a little boy, and seemingly devoted to his wife. He has been offered money by a few older gay men, and admits it's hard to turn down offers of $400+ to just allow someone to suck his cock. But he swears he's never given in. I get the feeling he will, eventually.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | November 26, 2019 5:12 PM |
I have a female friend like this. She's Angelina Jolie level gorgeousness. It's interesting because she views it mostly as something she has to bear. She's a lawyer and doesn't get taken seriously as often as she should. Witnesses, jurors, even other lawyers are constantly saying, "You should have been a model," or "you should have been an actress," as if those are compliments--and truthfully, I guess they are meant to be. But as she would tell you, she didn't want to be an actress or model; she wanted to be a lawyer.
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | November 26, 2019 5:14 PM |
I know it's hard being friends with me for this reason, but I just can't help it!
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | November 26, 2019 6:17 PM |
I have a friend like this and initially it was thoroughly annoying especially since he "seems" to enjoy the attention.
However, a few years back I realized two things.
The first was that I needed to focus on the reasons why I'm friends with him so I won't be jealous like: he is 100% there for me when I need him and has been for almost a decade, there's no one I'd count on more to keep a secret, I genuinely trust him & he has his moments but he's genuinely nice.
The second thing was that he doesn't see himself the way other people see him. Yes, he knows he's attractive to the point where strangers stop and tell him on the street (and act like I or whoever else is with him are dead) but his first thought is always that he isn't actually attractive. He said at one point that he just says thank you because it's easier than saying he isn't and having to deal with the person saying that he is and getting into a discussion about it. I was about to counter with, "BUT YOU ARE CAROL ANNE!" but I realized that would be doing exactly what he said people did to him when he said he isn't so, oops!
To his credit, he has dealt with this his whole entire life (complains that people don't take him seriously just like R8's person) and he knows how it makes other people feel. He seems to go out of his way to spend time with our group of friends or just me personally in places where no one else is around. He also knows that he can't really complain about it.
He'll be [italic]nice[/italic] to you if you tell him he's attractive. He'll be your [italic]friend[/italic] if you tell him you like something that he did.
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | November 26, 2019 7:05 PM |
What kind of losers go up to complete strangers and tell them they are gorgeous and then proposition them for sex? In a club I can see it, but not out in the street or restaurant or store?
| by Anonymous | reply 11 | November 26, 2019 7:22 PM |
r11, you must never have picked up on the street then. Believe me, it does happen.
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | November 26, 2019 7:23 PM |
No one will believe me, but that was me in my 20s and 30s. It drove my best friend at the time insane. He was a journalist and actually wrote an article on me and how my looks affected our relationship. He didn't mind it when men bought our drinks or we got free passes to The White Party (hard pass on that though) or whatever perks my looks garnered us.
But he resented it so much, and made it known to me all the time - usually by deriding my other qualities (or lack thereof) I finally had to cut off our friendship, which was hard. I truly cared for him and we had a blast together most of the time.
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | November 26, 2019 7:34 PM |
I was very close to someone like that for a while. He was aware that he was good looking, and had an incredible gym body. He and I rented a house in the Hamptons for a few years, and it was almost comical how often people would approach him on the beach or in restaurants to talk to him, and would completely ignore me, as though I weren't even there. People would hand him invitations to parties, based solely on his looks, and, of course, they did not give an invitation to me, yet I went as his plus one. I didn't begrudge him, but the behavior of the other people was offensive. He and I eventually had a falling out, as he became increasingly narcissistic, and used his looks to ruthlessly get what he wanted.
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | November 26, 2019 7:35 PM |
R11 must be ugly as fuck.
Someone I know looks like a mix between James Dean and Elvis and another friend who has been told he looks like Dave Gahan (but taller). Women throw themselves at them.
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | November 26, 2019 7:35 PM |
R1 Here. I forgot an important fact. He was straight, and everyone assumed he was gay because he was so gorgeous. And the weird thing was he had a sister who was a dog. I met his mom and she was beautiful, so he clearly got her looks, but his sister! fugly, fugly, fugly.
I was convinced he was sexually molested as a tween based on some odd things he vaguely alluded to. He was such a good looking kid, and his family lived the "Bel Aire" lifestyle where there's very little parental oversight. Those kids raise themselves.
| by Anonymous | reply 16 | November 26, 2019 7:47 PM |
OP, that’s why you and I will never be friends.
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | November 26, 2019 7:59 PM |
My boyfriend is ridiculously gorgeous. People have actually asked him, "who's your friend?" referring to me, not believing that he actually loves me (and we make each other laugh). It doesn't really bother me, since I'm the one who gets to sleep with him.
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | November 26, 2019 8:06 PM |
R18 that’s nice you appreciate him. I love your post.
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | November 26, 2019 8:42 PM |
I worked with someone like this once and she was very lonely. Women didn't like her or want to be around her, the comparison wasn't flattering. Men thought she was gorgeous but she had an aloof quality that read as "leave me alone." Most of them assumed she was taken. She had a boyfriend but would have probably fielded other options.
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | November 26, 2019 8:54 PM |
Where do some of you guys live? Barcelona? Montevideo? All of America seems to be surrounded by fugs.
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | November 26, 2019 8:57 PM |
I live in NYC and have had friends like this all my life. I suppose some people gawk, but frankly I never noticed. Its New York after all and there are all types out in public that can grab attention. And no great looking people are no more or less troubled than most- after all, they lose their looks to a great extent for the better part of their lives. I've observed that as well among friends over the years.
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | November 26, 2019 9:00 PM |
R1 R16 Does he vaguely resemble any celebrity, model, or actor? I'm curious to see what he looks like.
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | November 26, 2019 9:03 PM |
When people ignore you for hotter friends you should extend a hand and introduce yourself: “Hello, I’m chopped liver.”
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | November 26, 2019 9:10 PM |
Celeste Barber wrote about this very subject regarding her Maori husband
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 25 | November 26, 2019 9:30 PM |
I consider myself lucky, attractive people want absolutely nothing to do with me so I never have to deal with this problem.
| by Anonymous | reply 26 | November 26, 2019 9:32 PM |
My last longterm relationship was with an ex-model (underwear as well as clothes -- his body was that amazing) -- he was so handsome people use to come up to him and tell him that. To his face. In front of me. I never could figure out what these people thought they were doing -- why tell someone they'll never see again how handsome he is?
The sad fact was that although he was a great guy in many ways he was vain and obsessed with his looks to the point of distraction. I've found that really good looking people, men and women both, find beauty to be a burden in that it's hard to develop a strong, healthy ego when people treat you differently than they do anyone else. It was a good lesson to learn.
| by Anonymous | reply 27 | November 26, 2019 9:37 PM |
This may be the most Datalounge thread ever.
People who are very good looking and want to be taken seriously quickly learn how to style themselves to play it down.
| by Anonymous | reply 29 | November 27, 2019 1:44 AM |
[quote]This may be the most Datalounge thread ever.
Actually, it's not. Not typical AT ALL.
| by Anonymous | reply 30 | November 27, 2019 2:03 AM |
Alright, jerking myself off- whenever anyone is speaking publicly, when their eyes stop on me- they lose their thought. We make eye contact and they (always men) dead stop talking. Even if it’s just a guy telling some story, or a professor/speaker lecturing a room. It’s kind of fun.
| by Anonymous | reply 31 | November 27, 2019 3:25 AM |
I had a best friend while I was teaching in a medium-sized college town in Florida in the 80s and early 90s. I met him when I was 27 and he was 20. We were inseparable and went to bars, parties, even bathhouses together. We both were promiscuous, but he was younger and ridiculously good-looking at the thread title states, and even much more promiscuous than I. I was moderately attractive (tall, slim, nice eyes) and didn't have much trouble hooking up on my own, but I disappeared into the wallpaper when we were together. Most people assumed we were lovers and always shot me pitying glances, since most of them had slept with him or knew someone who had slept with him, and clearly felt I was in the dark about his sexual behavior. I didn't begrudge him his looks, except on those rare occasions when we were both interested in the same guy, and of course, for that person I wouldn't exist.
We're still friends but have lived in different cities for the past 25 years. Now he is losing his hair and trying to work the Christopher Meloni look, (which he can often successfully pull off) and I have a full head of silver hair, but am invisible to all gay men under the age of 45. I don't have a life lesson from this except that we all age, and beauty is transitory.
Aging is probably less painful for those who were never drop-dead gorgeous,but it's no walk in the park for anyone to watch the accretion of wrinkles and sagging skin and unwanted thickening around the middle. Still, I think there's a way to accomplish it gracefully. Just the effort to stay in shape and dress well and groom oneself nicely is enough without going to ridiculous lengths to try to stave off the process. Shoe polish black hair, botched plastic surgery, getting botoxed to within an inch of one's life - to me, these are embarrassing efforts and don't fool anyone.
| by Anonymous | reply 32 | November 27, 2019 7:53 AM |
Don’t be jealous that really good looking guys like me can Derelick my own balls.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 33 | November 27, 2019 8:34 AM |
[quote]It has a halo effect on people who they associate with
I found this to be the case when I hung out with a drop-dead-gorgeous friend years ago. I benefited from being hit on by the people who thought he was out of their league but I was attainable. Of course I was in love with the guy, so it's possible that happy glow actually made me more attractive than I would have been otherwise.
| by Anonymous | reply 34 | November 27, 2019 11:37 AM |
I've never been friends with anyone who was incredibly handsome.
Reading this thread, I wonder if some of the experiences explain why very attractive people seem to stick together. It seems like it's hard to be the less attractive one and hard to be the attractive one in any differently-attractive friendships.
| by Anonymous | reply 35 | November 27, 2019 12:14 PM |
My father was good-looking. I am not kidding, he looked a lot like Gary Cooper, when Coop was younger and had all his hair. Women loved dad. The charm flowed out of him. The old lady down the street. 85 years old, told me that she thought my dad was SO handsome, and that she had a crush on him. My mother would be told how lucky she was to have such a gorgeous husband.
| by Anonymous | reply 36 | November 27, 2019 12:20 PM |
R29 agree. My friend is a rising film star. She is stunning. However, when she goes out it's overalls and funky hair. She will always get some attention (tall), but she never dresses daily like she does for events. I guess women can do that, whereas men kinda look like what they look like.
| by Anonymous | reply 37 | November 27, 2019 12:21 PM |
R35, When my BF and I first got together, I was probably considered the more attractive one. Even though we're the same age, we've aged differently. I used to be fit and tan and have black hair. My BF is rather petite, and a bit effeminate. With age, my hair has gone grey, and my waistline had 'filled in' you can say. On the other hand, my boyfriend has filled in a bit, too, but in all the right places. And a bit of age has made him more handsome, and I don't think most people would see him as very effeminate, like he was when he was just a skinny little guy. I'm still considered a handsome older man, but my boyfriend has a sort of glossy handsomeness now that I haven't had for a long time.
| by Anonymous | reply 38 | November 27, 2019 12:26 PM |
It is a burden we have to live with!
| by Anonymous | reply 39 | November 27, 2019 12:40 PM |
It’s very rare for a gorgeous gay guy to have a shelf life of more than two years. Different if you’re an escort/bartender/kept but most don’t have a backup plan past their 30’s when Mother Nature decides to pull the rug out from underneath them!
I grew up a handsome teen during the AIDS crisis but lost all my hair and probably would’ve caught the virus if I hadn’t- because I was a whore, darlin’.
I actually had a very convincing hairpiece throughout the aughts and got to relive my 20’s... well into my 40’s- posing on an international gay magazine cover, bartending at clubs etc. What an experience the second time around!
I’m 50 and bald now and got rid of all my fur babies years ago.
| by Anonymous | reply 40 | November 27, 2019 1:02 PM |
I'm now in my late 20s in LA and I would venture to say everyone in my friend group is very good looking. I'm talking tens of thousands of instagram followers each. I wouldn't consider myself a model, but I think I'm handsome enough and used to be able compete with them, but the past two years I've gained some weight because of medication I'm on (I'm working on it!). I'm not a slob but there is a definitive difference between myself and the rest of them and I can tell people are visibly perplexed by what I'm doing in this friend group. Honestly, it feels like kind of a power move and I get all the residual perks of being around hot people
| by Anonymous | reply 41 | November 27, 2019 1:04 PM |
I was in college with many students studying drama/acting/film. Many were beautiful albeit nutjobs (99%). When we walked down the street in NYC, we would be stopped by men who claimed to be photographers who wanted to take their pictures (in a studio)...we got so many name cards.
| by Anonymous | reply 42 | November 27, 2019 3:22 PM |
What I'm getting from this thread is that beauty is most definitely NOT in the eye of the beholder; we all know exactly what it is, who has it, and who doesn't.
| by Anonymous | reply 43 | November 27, 2019 5:33 PM |
Pretty fades. But true beauty is forever.
| by Anonymous | reply 44 | November 27, 2019 5:37 PM |
This is why a lot of handsome men wear hats and avoid eye contact.
| by Anonymous | reply 45 | November 27, 2019 5:40 PM |
There have been a lot of studies to show that beauty is really "Average" - in that people who have the most symmetrical faces with no extremes of chin, forehead, nose, cheekbones are consistently rated as the most beautiful. Add to that a look of good health, and most people will be smitten. It's apparently genetic. I think I'm typical of a lot of gay men however, in that I might look at a beautiful man (great eyes, perfect nose, good chin, etc) and have the thought, "WOW", and yet not be physically attracted to him, sometimes choosing someone who is quirkier looking but has a certain body language, sensuality, or cockiness that says "I'm great in bed" with exclamation points.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 46 | November 27, 2019 7:20 PM |
This is subjective. Many people find Christian Bale hot. I find him ugly.
| by Anonymous | reply 47 | November 27, 2019 7:23 PM |
I had a friend who was a 12 on a 1 to 10 scale. He's straight. Just exceptionally handsome with an excellent physique He used to work out 6 days a week and was careful what he ate. He called Sunday his 'I can eat whatever the fuck I want day'. I'm not bad looking but whenever we'd go out all eyes would be on him which I didn't care about since 99% of the looks were from women. It was never an issue being a friend with him until his 2nd marriage. Wife #2 I don't think liked me. Got along fine with her but I think she worried that there might be something up between my friend and me. There wasn't but I think that she was insecure enough that she needed to remove anything that might possibly be a treat in her mind. One time we were out eating. Seated at a booth, she was on one side with their baby who was under a year old I think (this was 8, 10 yrs) which she requested because it was easier to feed the baby from the hand carry thing the baby was in. My friend was seated on my side. At one point the wife comments, "you two look more like a couple than X and I do !" I thought in my head 'oh, shit, she's threatened'. Not long after the friend and I (who'd been friends for over 10 yrs) began doing less and less together. Couple of years after that they moved for his job. An annual Christmas card still arrives and he emails once, twice a year with little content 'we'll all good, how are you doing bro ?' That type of stuff.
Here's my one funny story about him. I had two free passes to see BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN when it premiered in my city. The (gay) friend who was dying to go with me got sick with flu so I asked the friend in the above paragraph to go. He said he had no interest in seeing it, that that was my scene not his. I can't remember how, maybe I bribed him with dinner but he ended up going with me. Theater was filled with 90% gay men. We walk down the aisle to our seats, settle in. He looks around and realizes that many of the gay men in there are looking at him and said to me, "great, all these guys think I'm your bitch ...." I told him, "yep, and I've never been prouder !"
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 48 | November 27, 2019 7:28 PM |
R47 do you find him ugly even when he was younger? He was my idea of male perfection in American Psycho but yeah, I admit he's aging pretty badly (probably due to the abuse he puts his body through as a method actor).
| by Anonymous | reply 50 | November 27, 2019 8:19 PM |
R50 he was beautiful in American Psycho.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 51 | November 27, 2019 8:25 PM |
Young Christian Bale could get it. I think he peaked around the time of [italic]Laurel Canyon[/italic].
| by Anonymous | reply 52 | November 28, 2019 1:04 AM |
I don't know this always seriously depressed me.
So you will be nice to me if I am beautiful but if I am ugly you will treat me like rag doll? That's just... who are we? How deep are relationships anyway?
I like the people that are average but have a big lovable personality. That's real. The kind of people you want around if you went blind.
| by Anonymous | reply 53 | November 28, 2019 1:11 AM |
Amico mio. He's beautiful on the inside too.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 54 | November 28, 2019 1:29 AM |
So I'm a solid 7. I'm good at being friends with very beautiful men -- guys most people would rate 10 -- because I don't desire them. I can see and appreciate their beauty, but there's a beauty threshold I have, beyond which I lose all sexual interest in them. Maybe I find it intimidating or something? but it's a genuine lack of desire, despite admiration for their looks and some jealousy at their ability to so easily attract the 7-8 guys I actually want.
I've known several and they were all lonely, despite all the attention and opportunity. I remain friends with one guy in particular who has told me he's grateful to know me because I'm the only other gay guy he knows who doesn't obviously want to fuck him. I've always thought it must be a rather strange life. And I've known at least one very beautiful man who deliberately muted his looks quite a bit because he was sick of the attention. I've known women who have done the same.
| by Anonymous | reply 55 | November 28, 2019 1:30 AM |
[quote] I guess women can do that, whereas men kinda look like what they look like.
Not at all R37
It is as R45 says--they wear hats, sunglasses, nerdy looking eyeglasses, baggy normcore clothes, grow beards-- actors don't just look like that to avoid fans, they look like that to avoid notice.
What none of you seem to have mentioned is that the "stopped on the street" stage is for guys in their teens and early/mid 20s. People are much less likely to stop a 35 year man, no matter how good looking, to tell him he's good looking.
| by Anonymous | reply 56 | November 28, 2019 2:15 AM |
I had a friend who wasn't exactly ridiculously good looking, but he oozed sex appeal. At the time we met, he claimed to be straight -- he was even engaged to a girl -- but I sensed otherwise. We worked for the same company, and got drunk one night, and I hit on him. He resounded. We became fuck buds of a sort, but I think he always resented me for making him confront his sexuality. He came from a religious background from Billings, MT, and his brother was a priest. He ended up moving from MT to NYC -- where I lived -- and would bring him to parties to help him meet people. People at the parties or dinners could have assumed that we were a couple, since we were often together, yet there was never one single time when at least two men did not give him their number. One time we went to Key West, and someone on a bike stopped to give him his number. I thought it was rude and incredibly offensive. The was something about him that just sexy af. I no longer live in NYC, and he is very out now. I'm glad I helped open that door for him, although he no longer talks to me because I did. I wish him well.
| by Anonymous | reply 57 | November 28, 2019 4:02 AM |
Summer and fall of 1990 I was in Europe modeling but I was in the skinny freak category. My lover was in the universally considered stunning man category. He was radiant, with good vibes and a heart opening smile. Well we blended fine at parties and places with beautiful and fashion people but it was pretty silly in cafes and out and about on the streets. He attracted so much attention and he preferred to stay in. We ate simple meals and drank red wine on ice, highly irregular.
A similar story - female version - a friend of mine in college said her bff back growing up on LI was stunning. One summer we were all interning in NYC and I would go out with her Long Island friends to bridge and tunnel discos. Her friend was GORGEOUS HIGH WATT STUNNING: She was also nice. Well, every fucking guido in those clubs would mob her, they all thought, what the hell, she's out of my league but I'll give it a go. Non stop. She did eventually meet one gorgeous guy. Married him!
| by Anonymous | reply 58 | November 28, 2019 4:28 AM |
