I’m not going to lie. I laughed. I just started laughing again.
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | December 15, 2018 4:48 PM |
When you're down by the sea, and an eel bites your knee,
That's a moray.
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | December 16, 2018 4:34 PM |
When an idiot tries to be witty and wise
that's a moron
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | December 16, 2018 6:03 PM |
Meant to sign that as "We're looking at YOU, OP.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | December 16, 2018 6:03 PM |
When you're out on your yacht and an eel bites your twat
that's a moray.
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | December 16, 2018 6:09 PM |
Add to the list of semi-humorous ways to croak while reef diving.
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | December 16, 2018 6:16 PM |
When a trick robs you blind 'cause he's out of his mind
That's a whore way.
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | December 16, 2018 6:24 PM |
When an eel bites your junk and your dick turns to gunk
That's a moray
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | December 16, 2018 6:31 PM |
When it hides on a reef and has two sets of teeth, that's a moray.
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | December 17, 2018 4:08 AM |
When to poop you must strain and your ass is in pain
That's heMOrrhoids.
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | December 17, 2018 7:16 AM |
OP belongs on the Underwhelm Me thread.
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | December 17, 2018 7:20 AM |
When a glacier retreats, building hills as it leaks
That's a moraine...
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | December 17, 2018 7:46 AM |
When an eel buys a zoo and votes Vivian Vance too, that a moray
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | December 17, 2018 7:55 AM |
When an eel's stated its boundaries then bites an old Frau's knees, that's a moray
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | December 17, 2018 8:19 AM |
When Giuliani just yaps, giving ops for the Paps,
That's a snore, eh?
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | December 17, 2018 8:24 AM |
When a funny-voiced broad makes the kiddies applaud
That's June Foray.
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | December 17, 2018 9:31 PM |
When the moon hits your knees and you mispronounce trees
Sycamore
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | December 17, 2018 11:00 PM |
When the living is sweet and you walk with bare feet
That's Samoa.
| by Anonymous | reply 25 | December 18, 2018 1:06 AM |
When a guy wields a sword so he can serve a lord
That's samurai.
| by Anonymous | reply 26 | December 18, 2018 1:14 AM |
When you pick up a shell and you scream "What the Hell?"
That's a moray.
| by Anonymous | reply 27 | December 18, 2018 3:20 AM |
OP I have a crush on you but I think you might do drugs
| by Anonymous | reply 28 | December 18, 2018 3:26 AM |
When a swatch of chiffon seems to switch off and on
That's a moire'.
| by Anonymous | reply 29 | December 18, 2018 4:48 AM |
This popped into my head today and I snorted out loud. Good show, OP! Thanks for the gift of multiple moments of levity.
| by Anonymous | reply 30 | December 18, 2018 4:50 AM |
Did OP write all of these?
| by Anonymous | reply 31 | December 18, 2018 4:52 AM |
When she fingers your slit
And calls you a little shit
That's a Moira
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 32 | December 18, 2018 4:53 AM |
It's taken a village R31 I love this thread. Thank you OP!
| by Anonymous | reply 33 | December 18, 2018 4:55 AM |
If a dick’s in your hand and there’s two in your can.
You’re a Whore, eh?
| by Anonymous | reply 34 | December 18, 2018 5:32 AM |
When you work from you home and johns call on the phone, you're a Call Girl
When you walk with a limp and give a cut to a pimp, you're a Street Whore
When I straddle and squat to show you my--
| by Anonymous | reply 35 | December 18, 2018 5:39 AM |
When they're beggin' you please to get down on your knees near their groinage...
'Scuza me, but you see, don't you touch where they pee without coinage.
| by Anonymous | reply 36 | December 18, 2018 5:41 AM |
When you actin' so bad wif yo' new baby dad
You on Maury!
| by Anonymous | reply 37 | December 18, 2018 5:44 AM |
Get a cramp in your thigh,
and "Charley Horse!" you cry,
that's Yvonné.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 38 | December 18, 2018 6:03 AM |
When your balls start to freeze
And your dinner is cheese
You’re in Norway
| by Anonymous | reply 39 | December 18, 2018 6:05 AM |
When your football is fine and your physique divine:
Yaya Toure'
| by Anonymous | reply 40 | December 18, 2018 6:43 AM |
How far back do these "That's Amore" parodies go?
The oldest example I know of is in a sci-fi book called "Callahan's Crosstime Saloon" (1977), by Spider Robinson. But did Robinson invent the genre, or was he just using something that was already happening?
| by Anonymous | reply 41 | December 18, 2018 7:02 AM |
If you’re hitting the booze
‘Cause you “slept” with Tom Cruise
You’re De Mornay
| by Anonymous | reply 42 | December 18, 2018 7:16 AM |
Great one r42! *applause*
| by Anonymous | reply 43 | December 18, 2018 7:39 AM |
When a guy asks a buck just to throw you a fuck
That's Sam or Ray.
| by Anonymous | reply 44 | December 18, 2018 9:32 AM |
When you visit a bar to find where hot guys are
That's a foray.
| by Anonymous | reply 45 | December 18, 2018 3:51 PM |
When you and three more guys mix it up sexing-wise
That's a four-way.
When you nibble and lick and your tongue's double-quick
Thatsa foreplay.
| by Anonymous | reply 46 | December 18, 2018 3:58 PM |
Bump, I've had a shitty day!
| by Anonymous | reply 47 | December 18, 2018 11:10 PM |
Who engraved all the best,
Illustrated the rest?
Gustave Dore'.
| by Anonymous | reply 48 | December 18, 2018 11:29 PM |
For your wit on DL, making me laugh like hell
J'adoré!
| by Anonymous | reply 49 | December 18, 2018 11:34 PM |
When you see two brown legs walking down Bondi beach
that's a Maori.
| by Anonymous | reply 52 | December 19, 2018 6:51 AM |
When Te Kanewa trills over New Zealand hills
That's a Maori.
| by Anonymous | reply 53 | December 19, 2018 7:05 AM |
When a pyramid scheme
Answers all of your dreams
That is Amway
Selling vitamin shakes
At your grandmother’s wake
That is Amway
| by Anonymous | reply 54 | December 19, 2018 7:57 AM |
¿Esos son Reeboks o son Nikes? (Is this the rhythm of the night)
¡Yo no voy a lavar! Yo no voy a lavar u-u-u (You’re the one that I want)
Jodienda (Forbidden love)
| by Anonymous | reply 55 | December 19, 2018 8:23 AM |
Ay no, ay no, ay no, ay no, ay NO! (Donna Summer’s Try Me I Know We Can Make It)
| by Anonymous | reply 56 | December 19, 2018 8:27 AM |
When you post something witty, and Muriel deletes thee
You're deploree'
| by Anonymous | reply 57 | December 19, 2018 8:35 AM |
Eels are the dogs of the sea.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 58 | December 19, 2018 12:57 PM |
When you make him squeal but your dick just won't heal
That's a cumdump
| by Anonymous | reply 59 | December 19, 2018 1:02 PM |
R48
Who composes so fine, his songs sparkle like wine?
Gaby Faure'
| by Anonymous | reply 60 | December 19, 2018 1:46 PM |
When you're out on a scuba and an eel bites your boob-a
that's a moray.
| by Anonymous | reply 61 | December 19, 2018 3:10 PM |
These are DREADFUL. Give it up, kids!!
| by Anonymous | reply 62 | December 19, 2018 7:33 PM |
And our friend Mitch Albom every Tuesday would come to hear Morrie.
| by Anonymous | reply 63 | December 19, 2018 7:37 PM |
When Othello's poor wife
Gets stabbed with a knife
That's a Moor, eh?
| by Anonymous | reply 64 | December 19, 2018 7:38 PM |
When you fuck Harvey for flicks and they call you fish sticks That’s a Goopy
| by Anonymous | reply 65 | December 19, 2018 8:46 PM |
R62 nobody's keeping you here...
| by Anonymous | reply 66 | December 19, 2018 10:53 PM |
When dark chocolate drops
Kiss thick marshmallow glops,
That's a S'more, eh?
| by Anonymous | reply 67 | December 19, 2018 11:09 PM |
Where the Bronte's indite
And they roam the long night
That's a moor, eh?
| by Anonymous | reply 68 | December 19, 2018 11:30 PM |
Yeah r62 go away, we are having fun here.
| by Anonymous | reply 69 | December 19, 2018 11:40 PM |
When you don’t give a heck because you right off your debt, that’s amortization.
| by Anonymous | reply 70 | December 19, 2018 11:53 PM |
You can tell which posters don't know the melody line.
| by Anonymous | reply 72 | December 20, 2018 12:57 AM |
And don't have a clue about scansion.
| by Anonymous | reply 73 | December 20, 2018 2:15 AM |
When you use a big word that seldom is heard That's a bore-eh
| by Anonymous | reply 75 | December 20, 2018 2:47 AM |
When your art is surreal, filled with modernist zeal,
You are Man Ray
If you got finger raped by a sixty-pound ape,
You are Fay Wray
| by Anonymous | reply 76 | December 20, 2018 2:52 AM |
If you've got a mansion
Forget about scansion
If you're rich as Croesus
Forego diaresis
| by Anonymous | reply 78 | December 20, 2018 6:19 AM |
When an emu-like fowl,
Eons back, threw in towel,
That's a moa.
| by Anonymous | reply 79 | December 20, 2018 7:17 AM |
When a bird lacking flight
Went extinct, so "Goodnight,"
That's a moa.
| by Anonymous | reply 80 | December 20, 2018 11:23 AM |
When anthropologists school a culture’s unwritten rule, that’s a more.
| by Anonymous | reply 81 | December 20, 2018 12:20 PM |
When you've melted some cheese, covered fish or some peas
That's a Mornay
| by Anonymous | reply 82 | December 20, 2018 12:38 PM |
When you're out for a dip and an eel bites your hip
that's a moray.
When you splish and you splash and an eel's talkin' trash
that's a moray.
| by Anonymous | reply 83 | December 20, 2018 3:21 PM |
r82 Bronze Age Gay, that was great! There are so many good ones on here. My happy thread!
| by Anonymous | reply 84 | December 20, 2018 9:43 PM |
When an eel bites your ass While you're smoking some grass He's not getting any.
| by Anonymous | reply 85 | December 20, 2018 9:47 PM |
When the condom did split And dna says you're it That's a Maury
| by Anonymous | reply 86 | December 20, 2018 9:52 PM |
When you’re out for a hike
With your favourite dyke
That’s a foray.
| by Anonymous | reply 87 | December 20, 2018 11:32 PM |
When the Munsters get thick
With the Addamses clique,
Edward Gorey.
| by Anonymous | reply 88 | December 20, 2018 11:34 PM |
When all Courtney’s Love
munches Polly Harv’s rug,
Amos Tori.
| by Anonymous | reply 89 | December 20, 2018 11:41 PM |
When you're waving a flag
Re.a grade that you brag:
Semaphore "A".
| by Anonymous | reply 90 | December 20, 2018 11:53 PM |
When you’re dancing in twirls
With the West Side Shark girls,
That’s Moreno
| by Anonymous | reply 91 | December 21, 2018 12:05 AM |
When a fungus decides
That it's prime for some brides
It gets spore-y.
| by Anonymous | reply 92 | December 21, 2018 12:06 AM |
When the axe hits your head And the blood's spraying red That a gore-ey
| by Anonymous | reply 93 | December 21, 2018 12:07 AM |
If your friend named “The Fonz”
Jumps a shark in a pond,
Erin Moran
| by Anonymous | reply 94 | December 21, 2018 12:12 AM |
OP, reveal us, how many WW's has your post gotten so far?
| by Anonymous | reply 95 | December 21, 2018 12:15 AM |
When a flat-bottomed boat
Does a finely tuned float:
Hunky dory.
| by Anonymous | reply 96 | December 21, 2018 12:28 AM |
I hope we get to six hundred
Then r68 would drop dead
I want more, hey
| by Anonymous | reply 99 | December 21, 2018 3:07 AM |
Ven da clerk syays, "Get real, You need chyemical peel!" That's Sephora
| by Anonymous | reply 100 | December 21, 2018 3:09 AM |
I meant r62. r68 you are swell in my book!
| by Anonymous | reply 101 | December 21, 2018 3:10 AM |
When the frau cradles the mug, and says her fibro is acting up
That's pumpkin spice, latte
| by Anonymous | reply 102 | December 21, 2018 3:21 AM |
When a molester's wife helps enable his life
That's a Mia.
| by Anonymous | reply 103 | December 21, 2018 3:39 AM |
I've been saying that all along, r104.
| by Anonymous | reply 105 | December 21, 2018 3:47 AM |
r62 is just jealous because the cunt has no creativity or sense of playfulness. Not very fun watching from the outside is it, you dull cow?
| by Anonymous | reply 106 | December 21, 2018 4:06 AM |
When your uncle buys you drums though you’re praying nazis don’t come...,
| by Anonymous | reply 107 | December 21, 2018 4:47 AM |
When old Ironside's chair
Teeters at top of stair
That's doom o'er Ray.
| by Anonymous | reply 110 | December 21, 2018 5:36 AM |
When star Aldo, the lug,
Loads his pistol with slugs,
That's ammo, Ray.
| by Anonymous | reply 111 | December 21, 2018 5:51 AM |
When you’re R102
And you type like a shrew
Thatsa meta.
| by Anonymous | reply 112 | December 21, 2018 6:20 AM |
r106 you know as well as I if this were any other thread, the DLers would be CUNTING each and everyone of these sorrowful attempts at humor big time. Why do the posters on this thread believe they are above reproach?
| by Anonymous | reply 113 | December 21, 2018 6:24 AM |
When your deadname is Mulva and an eel bites your vulva
that's a moray.
When you're out for a swim and an eel bites your quim
that's a moray.
| by Anonymous | reply 114 | December 21, 2018 6:30 AM |
When Yvonne's leadin' class
And Rose falls on her ass
STUPID WHORE-AY
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 115 | December 21, 2018 6:36 AM |
When an envious shrew
Says to jokesters, "You're through,"
That's a bore, eh?
| by Anonymous | reply 116 | December 21, 2018 6:44 AM |
When your thick Latin peen
Fucks an ass or vajeene
That's-a Jorge
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 119 | December 21, 2018 6:55 AM |
When you see such a bulge
That you have to indulge
That's the whore way.
| by Anonymous | reply 120 | December 21, 2018 7:22 AM |
"Why do the posters on this thread believe they are above reproach? —r62"
Yours was the single least amusing reply on the thread. What, do you think YOU are above reproach?
| by Anonymous | reply 121 | December 21, 2018 7:25 AM |
When you are sore in your hips and your socks have those grips
You are old-ay
| by Anonymous | reply 123 | December 21, 2018 9:36 AM |
When you're in the ninth month
And the baby gets stuck
That's la-bor-ey
| by Anonymous | reply 124 | December 21, 2018 10:27 AM |
When you swindle some vet
Or an orphan you've met
That's amoral.
When you lie to the states
That you'll lower their rates
That's amoral.
| by Anonymous | reply 125 | December 21, 2018 11:17 AM |
IT IS SUPPOSED TO RHYME, R125 (and others who shall remain nameless)
| by Anonymous | reply 126 | December 21, 2018 11:19 AM |
IT DOES RHYME, R126. In the song that is the basis, the 3rd and 6th lines are lthe same.
| by Anonymous | reply 127 | December 21, 2018 11:47 AM |
I'm slow, and had to read it a couple of times. Ok.. good one, OP.. lol.
| by Anonymous | reply 131 | December 21, 2018 2:10 PM |
Finding life quite a bore
Harold stabs himself for
Sunshine Doré
| by Anonymous | reply 132 | December 21, 2018 2:14 PM |
When you get a deep cut.... And bleed from from your gut... That's a gor-eee...
| by Anonymous | reply 133 | December 21, 2018 2:18 PM |
When you wear a fur hat.... and falls off like a mat.... That's a toup-ee....
| by Anonymous | reply 135 | December 21, 2018 2:34 PM |
*...That looks a lot like a mat....* would have been better..
| by Anonymous | reply 136 | December 21, 2018 3:58 PM |
When you cream over Joans
And are one of the clones
You're a 'mo, Ray.
| by Anonymous | reply 138 | December 21, 2018 4:03 PM |
R126 Daddy, you need to kick back and pour yourself a primo Scotch old-fashioned - and bum some loco weed off of that kooky jazz cat playin’ the bongos!
| by Anonymous | reply 139 | December 21, 2018 4:24 PM |
When the Rat Pack's your group
and your songs are all poop
that's Sinatray
| by Anonymous | reply 140 | December 21, 2018 4:40 PM |
Like a monkey you dance, but you’re still “big in France,”
That’s a Jerry
For sick kids you raise tons, but you beat your own sons,
That’s a Jerry
| by Anonymous | reply 141 | December 21, 2018 5:09 PM |
Like a donkey you bray
And you're one lousy lay
That's a Jerry.
You're obnoxious to boot
In your cheap sharkskin suit
That's a Jerry.
| by Anonymous | reply 142 | December 21, 2018 5:18 PM |
R141 and R142... Jerry Lewis' fans..
| by Anonymous | reply 143 | December 21, 2018 5:24 PM |
When you steal Mr. Previn
For kids five, six and seven,
That's life, Dory.
| by Anonymous | reply 144 | December 21, 2018 5:26 PM |
R136, you need to very, very, carefully read the earlier posts on scansion. Study it carefully and save yourself a great deal of embarrassment in the future.
| by Anonymous | reply 145 | December 21, 2018 5:35 PM |
Oh yes.... the embarrassment...I hang my head in shame. This is such a serious thread, after all.
| by Anonymous | reply 146 | December 21, 2018 5:43 PM |
When your ca-reer has sunk into to playing a drunk,
That’s a Dino
If a girl gets snowed-in and you roofie her gin,
That’s a Dino
| by Anonymous | reply 147 | December 21, 2018 5:43 PM |
When the mouth on your peen
hasn't quite reached sixteen
That's statutory
| by Anonymous | reply 148 | December 21, 2018 6:09 PM |
No r16 I think r12 has it.
| by Anonymous | reply 149 | December 21, 2018 6:16 PM |
Most of these are horrible.
| by Anonymous | reply 150 | December 21, 2018 6:28 PM |
Everyone listen to this and it might improve some future entries.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 151 | December 21, 2018 6:32 PM |
When you've married a jerk
Who's allergic to work
That's my story.
When I say Why oh why
Can't my mommy just die
Call me Tori
| by Anonymous | reply 152 | December 21, 2018 6:52 PM |
When the role calls for sass
And a big, hefty ass
Call Gabourey
| by Anonymous | reply 153 | December 21, 2018 7:08 PM |
I love these, even when they are a little klutzy. No shame cone wearing necessary, everyone is just having a little fun. God knows we need some wherever we can find it these days.
| by Anonymous | reply 154 | December 21, 2018 7:12 PM |
Who steals most of his scenes
Playing highly-strung queens?
Peter Lorre
| by Anonymous | reply 155 | December 21, 2018 7:13 PM |
If you're visiting Sodom
And you get poke in the bottom
That's Gommor-ey.
| by Anonymous | reply 156 | December 21, 2018 7:23 PM |
When you're prepping your hole
For some big monster pole
It's obligatory
| by Anonymous | reply 157 | December 21, 2018 7:25 PM |
When your daughter’s a witch
And you act like a bitch,
You’re Endora
| by Anonymous | reply 158 | December 21, 2018 7:25 PM |
When you act like a prick.... The get hit with a brick.... That karma-ey
| by Anonymous | reply 159 | December 21, 2018 8:39 PM |
*then* get hit.. edit please!
| by Anonymous | reply 161 | December 21, 2018 8:41 PM |
[R159]
You owe DL another effort....A better effort....In one take...
The eyes of DL are upon you.
| by Anonymous | reply 162 | December 21, 2018 8:44 PM |
Well.... I'm not a poet.... and I DO know it. I'll give it a rest for a while..
| by Anonymous | reply 164 | December 21, 2018 8:48 PM |
When you've clogged up your pores
And you must pull out the gore
That's Biore
| by Anonymous | reply 165 | December 21, 2018 9:06 PM |
When a bore named Sorrell Thinks he's funny as hell That's a Morey
| by Anonymous | reply 167 | December 21, 2018 9:12 PM |
Here she comes - Maiden Aunt
On a poetry rant
That’s an old gay
| by Anonymous | reply 168 | December 21, 2018 9:18 PM |
R150 "horrible" from SOME people is a compliment.
| by Anonymous | reply 169 | December 21, 2018 11:34 PM |
Variant of R157:
When you're prepping your hole
For some big monster pole:
Mandatory.
| by Anonymous | reply 170 | December 21, 2018 11:39 PM |
When you're young and alone
And you're dialing the phone
Use a pencil.
| by Anonymous | reply 171 | December 21, 2018 11:40 PM |
^^^^^
Or you're using your tail
To start sorting your mail
You're prehensile.
| by Anonymous | reply 172 | December 21, 2018 11:45 PM |
When a bloke who can't croon
Poses as Mr. Swoon
That's a faux Ray.
| by Anonymous | reply 173 | December 22, 2018 1:19 AM |
When the straw's tied in bales
After threshing with flails
That's some more hay.
| by Anonymous | reply 175 | December 22, 2018 7:33 AM |
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡☆
| by Anonymous | reply 176 | December 22, 2018 7:42 AM |
When you're out in the bay feel the monster sashay that's a moray
| by Anonymous | reply 177 | December 22, 2018 10:49 AM |
When you're watching TV And the stopwatch runs free That's a Morley
| by Anonymous | reply 178 | December 22, 2018 11:30 AM |
When a river divides
China from the Slav sides
That's Amur. Hey!
| by Anonymous | reply 179 | December 22, 2018 12:02 PM |
Who's a beauty whose brain
Fizzes heady champagne?
That's Lamarr, eh!
| by Anonymous | reply 181 | December 22, 2018 12:58 PM |
With a sound so distinct.... As two glasses that clink.... That's a toast-ey
| by Anonymous | reply 183 | December 22, 2018 1:02 PM |
With high winds that swirl... and big fish that twirl... That's Sharknado...
| by Anonymous | reply 184 | December 22, 2018 1:07 PM |
A lady so small... RBG has smart gall... She's a badass...
| by Anonymous | reply 185 | December 22, 2018 1:13 PM |
When the jizz hits your eye
From your trick's big cream pie
S'not amore
When you flail on your back
As he drills your loose crack
You're a whore, K?
| by Anonymous | reply 186 | December 22, 2018 3:48 PM |
When your dad gives you a pinch on your nips
And a gross kiss on your lips
You're a Calafiore
| by Anonymous | reply 187 | December 22, 2018 5:39 PM |
When your French teacher requests You bend over his desk That's s'il vous plait
| by Anonymous | reply 188 | December 22, 2018 5:45 PM |
When you answer the phone
In retard Francophone
HOLD-AY ON-AY
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 190 | December 22, 2018 5:58 PM |
When everyone says
You're the Philippine prez
That's Duterte
| by Anonymous | reply 191 | December 22, 2018 6:11 PM |
R187 doesn't . . . GET it.
| by Anonymous | reply 192 | December 22, 2018 6:17 PM |
When you're mother's old soap
Colored pink or maybe taupe
That's a Camay
| by Anonymous | reply 193 | December 22, 2018 6:17 PM |
When a fluffy white pup
Romps in snow from sun up
That's samoyed.
| by Anonymous | reply 195 | December 22, 2018 7:55 PM |
R181 so it's Heady Lamarr?
| by Anonymous | reply 196 | December 22, 2018 8:01 PM |
When at Dollar Store shops then to Aldi he hops That's a poor gay
| by Anonymous | reply 197 | December 22, 2018 8:08 PM |
When you sang teenage schlock
And your aunt's nose was botched
You're a Fabares
| by Anonymous | reply 199 | December 22, 2018 8:20 PM |
You're a pretentious twat
But much coinage you've got
LAN-a Del Rey
| by Anonymous | reply 202 | December 22, 2018 8:31 PM |
Whipped cream and with nuts.... with sprinkles and syrup.... that's a sundae
| by Anonymous | reply 203 | December 22, 2018 8:33 PM |
When she's in the back yard
"Don't fuck with me retard"
That's DeMornay
| by Anonymous | reply 204 | December 22, 2018 8:37 PM |
R195 wins Cutest Contribution
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 206 | December 22, 2018 8:41 PM |
When your nautical clothes
Can't distract from your nose
You're LaToya
| by Anonymous | reply 209 | December 22, 2018 8:44 PM |
When you've body of hog
And your drag lewks you flog
That's Ador-é!
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 212 | December 22, 2018 11:25 PM |
When the cliff’s marked with pocks
From the digging of rocks
That’s a quarry.
| by Anonymous | reply 213 | December 22, 2018 11:41 PM |
I went swimming in a river full of eels once, they were very polite, just nibbled off dead skin from feet lol, so can’t complain, free pedicure!
| by Anonymous | reply 215 | December 23, 2018 12:50 AM |
When you're marrying gays
And popping pills in a daze
That's a Liz-A.
| by Anonymous | reply 216 | December 23, 2018 1:16 AM |
When your girl's got an axe And she gives forty whacks That's a Liz-eh.
| by Anonymous | reply 217 | December 23, 2018 1:21 AM |
When Miss Lizzie's foul mood
Means her folks are dog food
She's real sore, eh?
| by Anonymous | reply 218 | December 23, 2018 1:45 AM |
When you leave from the ship To make a little trip That's a foray
| by Anonymous | reply 219 | December 23, 2018 1:51 AM |
When Poe's penning a poem
Of his raven come home
Nevermore, aye.
| by Anonymous | reply 220 | December 23, 2018 1:52 AM |
When you hiss at young guys
Knowing soon you will die
That's an eldergay
| by Anonymous | reply 221 | December 23, 2018 3:55 AM |
When you had '90s hits
Though your music was shit
That's Sugar Ray
| by Anonymous | reply 222 | December 23, 2018 3:57 AM |
When just one of your kinks
Is a pussy that stinks
You are Cheryl
| by Anonymous | reply 223 | December 23, 2018 4:19 AM |
When you wear a hat,
and don't know this for that,
that's fedor-ay.
| by Anonymous | reply 225 | December 23, 2018 6:03 AM |
When R119
Thinks dude doesn't crave peen,
That's ignoreaay.
| by Anonymous | reply 226 | December 23, 2018 6:15 AM |
When it's bad weather you see
On your cable TV
That's Jim Cantore
| by Anonymous | reply 227 | December 23, 2018 6:52 AM |
My heart beats only for you, r204
| by Anonymous | reply 228 | December 23, 2018 7:30 AM |
When you're a musical group
Whose singer was married to Goop
That's a Coldplay
| by Anonymous | reply 229 | December 23, 2018 7:54 AM |
r229, that was a good idea but you need to work on the meter a little.
| by Anonymous | reply 230 | December 23, 2018 8:05 AM |
What's a musical group
Whose lead was wed to Goop?
That's a Coldplay.
| by Anonymous | reply 231 | December 23, 2018 8:33 AM |
I love every single one of you bitches.
Merry Christmas to you and any fellow DL denizens who are feeling a bit sad this year.
| by Anonymous | reply 232 | December 23, 2018 9:34 AM |
At a potluck for dykes
The one thing they all likes
Is bread pudding
| by Anonymous | reply 233 | December 23, 2018 1:11 PM |
When you're a cut of meat
Or of fish you will eat
That's a fillet
| by Anonymous | reply 234 | December 23, 2018 1:20 PM |
When you feel like a mope... and your drink has been doped... That's a mick-ey
| by Anonymous | reply 235 | December 23, 2018 1:28 PM |
When you smoothly proceed,
A transition you need
That's a segue
| by Anonymous | reply 236 | December 23, 2018 1:31 PM |
When you smoothly proceed,
A transition you need
You're a tranny!
| by Anonymous | reply 237 | December 23, 2018 1:35 PM |
When there's multiple lanes
Used by cars, not by planes
That's a highway
| by Anonymous | reply 238 | December 23, 2018 1:37 PM |
When the tub is not butter
Despite what it uttered
That's a Parkay
| by Anonymous | reply 239 | December 23, 2018 1:53 PM |
With the shrillest of tone
Here come's Patti Lupone
She's a diva
| by Anonymous | reply 240 | December 23, 2018 1:55 PM |
Some good ones.. getting better.. lol.
| by Anonymous | reply 241 | December 23, 2018 1:56 PM |
When a rare fungus gleams
Like gold-honeycomb dreams
That's a morel.
| by Anonymous | reply 242 | December 23, 2018 2:19 PM |
When South African blacks
Are stuck living in shacks
That's apartheid
| by Anonymous | reply 243 | December 23, 2018 2:23 PM |
When a dude is a bro... and treats women like ho's.... that's a douche bag..
| by Anonymous | reply 244 | December 23, 2018 2:41 PM |
Thanks r228 -- I improved on it a little just for you.
Tempts the husband with sin
Hides the wife's medicine
That's DeMornay
Kills Marlene with a shard
Don't fuck with me retard
That's DeMornay
| by Anonymous | reply 245 | December 23, 2018 3:12 PM |
When your heart's full of shit
So your name's a good fit
That's Santorum
| by Anonymous | reply 246 | December 23, 2018 3:49 PM |
When you've climbed Everest
But by history you're dissed
That's a Norgay
You were born the wrong race
You don't have the right face
That's a Norgay
| by Anonymous | reply 247 | December 23, 2018 7:57 PM |
When Rock Hudson's your guy
But it's really a lie
That's Doris Day
David Niven was straight
So much daisy he ate
Ask Doris Day!
| by Anonymous | reply 248 | December 23, 2018 7:58 PM |
When a talk show you host
With the trashiest folk
That's Maury P.
Only praises are sung
By your wife Connie Chung
That's Maury P.
| by Anonymous | reply 249 | December 23, 2018 8:16 PM |
If a tube you must hide - silicone Astroglide,
That’s Miss Lindsey
Cramming young intern meat into your senate seat,
That’s Miss Lindsey
| by Anonymous | reply 250 | December 23, 2018 8:29 PM |
When you go to great length
To make something your strength
That's a forte
| by Anonymous | reply 253 | December 23, 2018 9:43 PM |
When you go pig out ... On this Tuesday, no doubt... That's full bell-eh,,,
| by Anonymous | reply 254 | December 23, 2018 11:15 PM |
Gift giving is fun... add a bottle of rum... You are shit faced...
| by Anonymous | reply 255 | December 23, 2018 11:17 PM |
in concert with R246:
When you've acted the tool
So your name means "loose stool"
You're Santorum
| by Anonymous | reply 256 | December 23, 2018 11:36 PM |
A new year comes in... and that's where you begin... Jan-u-ar-ey....
| by Anonymous | reply 258 | December 23, 2018 11:45 PM |
When as hard as you try
You just can't say Mumbai
That's a Bombay.
| by Anonymous | reply 260 | December 24, 2018 2:20 AM |
Can't stop laughing at r259...
| by Anonymous | reply 261 | December 24, 2018 2:54 AM |
When bad food's what you serve
And your spokesman's a perv
That's a Subway
| by Anonymous | reply 262 | December 24, 2018 12:41 PM |
Stretch your hole going in
Going out, stretch again
That's a butt plug!
| by Anonymous | reply 263 | December 24, 2018 12:48 PM |
When the questions are lame
And they all sound the same
That's a survey
| by Anonymous | reply 265 | December 24, 2018 11:10 PM |
When you're a pilot's cry
Before everyone dies
That's a mayday
| by Anonymous | reply 266 | December 24, 2018 11:10 PM |
When supposed insight
Is just hackneyed and trite
That's a cliché
| by Anonymous | reply 267 | December 25, 2018 2:34 AM |
When you claim to be hair
But clearly there's none there
That's a toupée
| by Anonymous | reply 269 | December 25, 2018 2:51 AM |
A transvestite in heels
Brad’s virginity steals
That’s Tim Curry
| by Anonymous | reply 270 | December 25, 2018 2:51 AM |
When Astarte presents
So the soldiers pitch tents
That's Sumer, eh?
| by Anonymous | reply 271 | December 25, 2018 5:02 AM |
It's Christmas Day.... Hal-le-lu-hah we say.... Ce-le-bra-tion....
| by Anonymous | reply 273 | December 25, 2018 2:50 PM |
r273 the rhythm would be better if you said It's Christmas today instead of I'ts Christmas day.
| by Anonymous | reply 274 | December 25, 2018 11:18 PM |
Missed the toilet last night
Shit all over the floor
Cleaned it up with my toothbrush
Don’t brush my teeth much anymore
| by Anonymous | reply 276 | December 26, 2018 1:31 PM |
When you swoon, swan and swish
At the dirt and the dish
That's a !Mary!
When the new chic frappe's
Give you vapors for days
That's a !Mary.!
| by Anonymous | reply 277 | December 26, 2018 2:23 PM |
When inserting your pole
Through a toilet stall hole
That’s a glory
| by Anonymous | reply 279 | December 27, 2018 5:06 AM |
Greedy bitch. What a cunt.
Everyday one more stunt.
That's Ivanka.
| by Anonymous | reply 280 | December 27, 2018 5:21 AM |
When he slammed your chute tight, but he won’t call or write
That’s my George....
| by Anonymous | reply 281 | December 27, 2018 5:25 AM |
When Krakatoa blows, and the ocean overflows
That’s TSUNAMI
| by Anonymous | reply 282 | December 27, 2018 6:53 AM |
When a child-loving creep
Gets some propofol sleep
Conrad Murray
| by Anonymous | reply 283 | December 27, 2018 6:59 AM |
When somehow you know
That your coach you will blow
That's a priori
| by Anonymous | reply 284 | December 27, 2018 3:27 PM |
When you own a fat cow and feed it some chow That's some more hay
| by Anonymous | reply 285 | December 27, 2018 3:44 PM |
When the doc snaps a pic
To find out why you're sick
That's an X-ray
| by Anonymous | reply 286 | December 27, 2018 6:32 PM |
When your tongue's black and blue
And you're wrinkly too
That's a Shar-Pei
| by Anonymous | reply 287 | December 27, 2018 6:57 PM |
When you're just a shit speck
But you're fluent in Czech
You're Don Jr.
First you fly off to Prague
Then the tail wags the dog
It's Don Jr.
When you're travelling alone
Borrow Mike Cohen's phone
It's Don Jr.!
| by Anonymous | reply 288 | December 29, 2018 6:23 AM |
When your anchor's found dead
In a cheap motel bed
That's a KTLA
| by Anonymous | reply 289 | December 29, 2018 6:37 PM |
If you don't like bad taste
You're time here is a waste
You're a boor, eh?
| by Anonymous | reply 291 | December 29, 2018 7:36 PM |
When there's 10 or more threads
About an actor and friends
That's a Chalamet
| by Anonymous | reply 292 | December 29, 2018 10:03 PM |
When you bump an old thread
sad that Steve Irwin's dead
From a stingray...
| by Anonymous | reply 293 | February 22, 2019 1:01 PM |
When you spit in the air and it lands in your hair, that's a loogie.....
| by Anonymous | reply 294 | February 22, 2019 1:56 PM |
With Bob Mueller at work
It's a cinch that that jerk
Is found guilty.
| by Anonymous | reply 295 | February 23, 2019 1:02 AM |
When that guy from Empire
Does a hoax that's so dire
Throw him in the hole-ay
| by Anonymous | reply 296 | February 23, 2019 1:11 AM |
When a gay and black man Plays a trick and a scam That’s a Smo-llet
| by Anonymous | reply 297 | February 23, 2019 2:33 AM |
Nominated again
When your first name is Glenn
That's a long shot
| by Anonymous | reply 298 | February 28, 2019 3:29 AM |
If you're bog eyed and ugly
Or spout fake Christianity
You're a Huckabee
| by Anonymous | reply 299 | February 28, 2019 3:29 PM |
Let's get this straight. The song is written in 3/4.
You've got ONLY six syllables, followed by ONLY six syllables, followed by ONLY four syllables.
Please attention to the need for actual, true, legitimate rhyming. The accent is on the 3rd and 6th syllable of all three lines.
That's it. Make it work.
| by Anonymous | reply 300 | February 28, 2019 3:56 PM |
Bumping! r300 is technically correct (I think), but let's not have that take away the fun.
Some of the funniest ones break the "rules". Have at it, bitches!
| by Anonymous | reply 301 | April 12, 2019 3:00 PM |
R300 you're right. I guess the first two beats at the start are an anacrusis, as with O Susanna. I prefer adherence, but good luck with that.
| by Anonymous | reply 302 | April 12, 2019 3:57 PM |
