I was invited to a reception for two wealthy A-gays who recently eloped. Any ideas as to what I can get them? They are in their 40s, no kids. They buy anything they want which is making it difficult. What say you, DL?
| by Anonymous | reply 76 | June 14, 2022 6:05 PM |
shame on them for asking for gifts
| by Anonymous | reply 1 | June 9, 2022 5:36 PM |
Give ‘em a toaster, OP.
You can’t go wrong with a toaster.
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | June 9, 2022 5:40 PM |
I love getting plants (like a tree- I was sent a magnolia tree which was lovely). I got my mother a subscription once to a cheese of the month club that she really enjoyed. A membership to an art museum? They have "mostly clubs" for just about everything, wine, cheese, tea, books, different countries- they are my go to for really hard people to shop for and people with long term illnesses- its like Christmas every month.
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | June 9, 2022 5:40 PM |
R3 here "monthly clubs" not mostly
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | June 9, 2022 5:40 PM |
Make a donation in their name to their favorite cause…if you don’t know it, make it to an animal rescue group. The charity will send a letter to them telling them the donation was made. A couple in their 40s don’t need anything, and getting them something they don’t want is a waste of time and money.
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | June 9, 2022 5:43 PM |
A+ gays you say?
I would say cyanide, but that’s traditionally for the 5th anniversary.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | June 9, 2022 5:45 PM |
This is why I love threads like this. I can brush up on my societal norms.
R7, I swore that was for the tenth. I’m so glad you’re here.
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | June 9, 2022 5:47 PM |
Something from the QVC network. Maybe one of those fleece pajamas that look like sleeping bags? Or maybe a set of precious moment figurines?
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | June 9, 2022 5:49 PM |
Cannot stand the loaded question-
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | June 9, 2022 5:52 PM |
Stay home and have a ridiculously expensive bottle of wine.
| by Anonymous | reply 11 | June 9, 2022 5:54 PM |
r7, just A gays not A+ gays and thanks for the helpful suggestions so far.
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | June 9, 2022 6:06 PM |
An expensive coffee table book - try Taschen. Everyone loves displaying these and there’s something for everyone.
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | June 9, 2022 6:10 PM |
Former A-gays if they're in their 40s.
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | June 9, 2022 6:10 PM |
A bottle of Dom. About 100 bucks, but seems like an extravagant gift.
| by Anonymous | reply 16 | June 9, 2022 6:13 PM |
A-gays can afford anything they want.
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | June 9, 2022 6:15 PM |
[quote] I was invited to a reception for two wealthy A-gays who recently eloped. Any ideas as to what I can get them? They are in their 40s, no kids.
They are YOUR friends, but you need advice from DL for an impersonal gift?
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | June 9, 2022 6:19 PM |
A years supply of fleet enemas. After a year, they won’t be having sex anymore….well, with each other….
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | June 9, 2022 6:22 PM |
[quote]Maybe one of those fleece pajamas that look like sleeping bags?
A slanket? But wait, if you act now, you get not one, but two slankets!
I'm still puzzled by being invited to a wedding (or just to make wedding gifts?) for a coupled that already eloped?
The elopement was their fucking marriage. None of this formalizing the gift giving process after the fact, for something you were not invited to (thankfully.). You dodged the bullet on something you didn't want to do; they dodged the bullet on unwanted gifts.
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | June 9, 2022 6:22 PM |
From a pure etiquette standpoint, there is no breach of etiquette by the invited not to give a wedding gift.
I know that’s blasphemy to a wedding couple who want to commit a shakedown on their”guests”.
That doesn’t change the fact that to give a gift is purely optional on the part of the guest.
And it’s the height of tacky and bad taste for the hosts/wedding couple to even hint one is required.
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | June 9, 2022 6:23 PM |
That changes everything, R13!!!
They don’t deserve to live. 🙀
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | June 9, 2022 6:26 PM |
A Walmart gift certificate...
Hey, everybody needs toothpaste and ammo 😉
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | June 9, 2022 7:48 PM |
His & His selfie sticks from Dollar Tree or FiVE Below. Instahoes need quality content.
| by Anonymous | reply 25 | June 10, 2022 12:31 AM |
They sound like smug cunts. Shoplift a $500 giftcard. Then when they go to use it, it won't work.
| by Anonymous | reply 26 | June 10, 2022 7:21 AM |
The expression "A Gays", is eyeroll-inducing. Anyway, I'm with R16.
| by Anonymous | reply 27 | June 10, 2022 7:32 AM |
Give them a Dollar Tree potato peeler. Fuck them!
| by Anonymous | reply 28 | June 10, 2022 7:48 AM |
My spouse and I were invited to a wedding in July. We declined. It's a second marriage for both. He's a plastic surgeon, she has a high-tech job. They are approaching 50. I think it is absurd to be asking for wedding gifts.
| by Anonymous | reply 29 | June 10, 2022 7:59 AM |
Please DLers. Ive always wanted to know what an elopement really means? Pretty please?
| by Anonymous | reply 30 | June 10, 2022 8:07 AM |
r5 is entirely correct. And if they bitch to others about it, they immediately come across as greedy and materialistic. It's a win/win situation.
| by Anonymous | reply 31 | June 10, 2022 8:09 AM |
I was once invited to an A-gay-adjacent 50th birthday party. The invitation stated: “gifts, if you must” and included a link to a high end department store.
I decided that I didn’t must, so arrived unencumbered with a gift, as a) I was poor at the time and b) based on their carefully curated Instagram presence, these queens wanted for nothing.
I haven’t heard from them since, thereby confirming my suspicions about them.
| by Anonymous | reply 32 | June 10, 2022 8:15 AM |
Get them a mirror. They'll use it every day.
| by Anonymous | reply 33 | June 10, 2022 8:21 AM |
I say go for gag gifts, something silly and fun. Massage gift certificates or something a little out there. Weird.
Make Em Laugh!
| by Anonymous | reply 34 | June 10, 2022 8:25 AM |
A slave would be an ahead-of-the-curve touch.
| by Anonymous | reply 35 | June 10, 2022 8:38 AM |
Ooou can I be your plus 1?
| by Anonymous | reply 36 | June 10, 2022 10:07 AM |
[quote] From a pure etiquette standpoint, there is no breach of etiquette by the invited not to give a wedding gift. I know that’s blasphemy to a wedding couple who want to commit a shakedown on their”guests”.
It's more than blasphemy! You have obviously never been to a straight wedding in NJ and the Tri-State area. It's not just custom, but EXPECTED that your "gift" usually cash should be equal to what it cost to put on the entire wedding. We are not talking about the price of a meal here, do you have any idea how much it cost to rent a good hall! It's not unusual to pull in about 20,000 - 40,000 in cash from your dummkopf, um I mean guests.
Oh and we will remind you even if you decline to attend, the fact that you received an invitation dictates manners to still provide a gift. But don't worry we will thank you as expected in kind, only we are to lazy to hand write out your name so hope you are cool with a mass mailer post card.
| by Anonymous | reply 38 | June 10, 2022 10:23 AM |
For gays or people who have everything, experiences seem to be the best gift. Like tickets to a play or concert, or wine tasting or favorite restaurant some kind of adventure if they are still active.
| by Anonymous | reply 39 | June 10, 2022 10:26 AM |
That is very little information, OP. What do they enjoy? How much can you spend? These are essential questions.
| by Anonymous | reply 41 | June 10, 2022 11:27 AM |
It's so weird to have a "reception" if you elope. The whole point of eloping is that it's quiet, secret, discreet and a surprise. You don't have a "reception" for that. You're saying, "We didn't think enough of you to even tell you we were getting married; an indicator that you don't rank too highly in our book. You were not invited. But now, we want you to celebrate our elopement after the fact anyway, as if every movement we make is a cause for celebration. Oh, and by the way, we have gift registries at these costly, far-flung boutiques. Be a love and show up at the appointed hour, with something expensive for us to throw on our pile, with a grimace of dismay. Leave the presents and GET OUT."
| by Anonymous | reply 42 | June 10, 2022 12:02 PM |
Let me say what R42 is saying only more blunt. Your gay friends are tacky. The eloped, ok, I thought only teenagers and shotgun weddings still did this but whatever, their gay so they live that fantasy. They didn't want to pay for a big wedding, that's fine but then throwing an after party so you can bring gifts AND they have the never to be registered somewhere? Tacky, tacky, tacky.
It's supposed to be a wedding party not a debutante ball. If they don't want to pay for the party, they shouldn't expect gifts for the party they didn't throw. I am ok with a reception, but if they had any class at all they would have also said on the invite, no gifts, just bring yourself, we would like the share this day with you.
| by Anonymous | reply 43 | June 10, 2022 12:45 PM |
A chafing dish is a gift that is always well reduced. Or maybe a silver asparagus server, or a set of 12 or 24 silver lobster picks? Or a silver candle snuffer and wick trimmer.
Think "practical" and you'll never go wrong!
| by Anonymous | reply 44 | June 10, 2022 12:51 PM |
My recollection is that you have a year after the wedding to send a gift, so don't feel compelled now. Normal 40-somethings don't expect gifts at a wedding but might appreciate something that reflects their interests--theater tickets, a nice Taschen coffee table book, etc.
| by Anonymous | reply 45 | June 10, 2022 1:03 PM |
[quote]we are to lazy to hand write out your name
Apparently, even too busy to add that O.
[quote]their gay so they live that fantasy.
Oh, DEAR!
| by Anonymous | reply 46 | June 10, 2022 7:15 PM |
A portrait of you. Kaftan hiked. Hole presented.
| by Anonymous | reply 47 | June 10, 2022 7:18 PM |
What makes the friends "A gays"?
Does seem like a cash grab to elope (save money) but then still receive wedding gifts.
Seems tacky.
| by Anonymous | reply 48 | June 10, 2022 7:25 PM |
Give them monkeypox. Make it memorable.
| by Anonymous | reply 49 | June 10, 2022 7:44 PM |
An Apartment 3G coffee table book.
| by Anonymous | reply 50 | June 10, 2022 9:00 PM |
We have been in the same situation. These guys were really into landscaping so we got them a gift certificate to a really exotic garden center/nursery, and they loved it. We also had a successful straight couple get married, and we got them a gift certificate to the Museum of Science in Boston, which turns out to be part of a network of museums - includes tickets to them, parking and also special events for a year - and they loved it. Also you can do a nice wine of the month club, or even cocktail of the month if you know what they like - I find you need to get something that is used - no one needs another trinket collecting dust. Mind you, we did not spend a lot of money, either. The garden center was $250 and the Museum pass was only $125.
| by Anonymous | reply 52 | June 10, 2022 10:49 PM |
How about several boxes of notecards on very fine paper. After all they’re going to need to write thank you notes. This is your way of letting them know it’s expected.
| by Anonymous | reply 53 | June 10, 2022 11:57 PM |
[quote] Mind you, we did not spend a lot of money, either. The garden center was $250 and the Museum pass was only $125.
To a lot of people, including me, $250 is a lot of money. $125 is also a lot, considering that this couple supposedly "eloped." What is up with people who "buy anything they want" and still expect gifts?
| by Anonymous | reply 54 | June 11, 2022 12:01 AM |
A matching box of Crane stationery for each. Personalized, but steel engraved even letterpress, but never thermographed.
| by Anonymous | reply 55 | June 11, 2022 1:15 AM |
[quote]After all they’re going to need to write thank you notes. This is your way of letting them know it’s expected.
R53's gift is always opened ladt, and with trepidation.
| by Anonymous | reply 56 | June 11, 2022 1:58 AM |
Get them each a monogrammed silver business card holder. Each with a different card for a very expensive, ruthless divorce lawyer.
| by Anonymous | reply 58 | June 11, 2022 3:28 AM |
R38 and you do sound so happy!
| by Anonymous | reply 59 | June 11, 2022 6:45 AM |
Get them individual framed photos showing what they looked like before the weight loss, nose jobs, and veneers.
| by Anonymous | reply 60 | June 11, 2022 6:49 AM |
One can’t go wrong with some decent blackamoor furniture.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 61 | June 11, 2022 8:57 AM |
Something unique and handcrafted, from a shop or gallery that carries such things.
| by Anonymous | reply 63 | June 11, 2022 10:00 AM |
[quote]Something unique and handcrafted, from a shop or gallery that carries such things.
That's great, but in this case I'd say only if you know their taste as well as your own.
When people marry in their 40s AND have money AND are A-list sorts (meaning they care rather a lot about what people think), though... Unless I knew them well, I would never buy anything that's a permanent fixture of a sort: artworks, anything the job of which is to sit out in the middle of everything and look good.
A hideously expensive set of wooden kitchen spatulas and slotted forks and spoons, etc. made by some well regarded artisan, for instance. Even if the A-listers are not in love with them, they probably love to drop names and will make a point to tell everyone the name of the artisan who made them and how in demand his work is. And they can chuck them soon enough if they please; wooden spoons are not meant to last forever and, in a pinch, they are subject to accidents.
The trouble with the Baccarat bowl is that it costs such a fortune that the donor will ask the recipients about it until one party dies.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 64 | June 11, 2022 11:32 AM |
Well if they have money, they don’t need or have to love the handcrafted gift. They like it or they don’t, but they see some creative thought put into it. As long as the giver’s taste is not truly, objectively hideous.
| by Anonymous | reply 65 | June 11, 2022 1:15 PM |
A gift certificate for a local well-recommended surrogate.
| by Anonymous | reply 66 | June 11, 2022 2:16 PM |
They eloped. They didn't include anyone in their life plans. They don't deserve a gift.
| by Anonymous | reply 67 | June 11, 2022 11:00 PM |
Vintage novelty mugs from Etsy.
| by Anonymous | reply 68 | June 11, 2022 11:17 PM |
'A' gays......divorce in 5, 4, 3, 2.....
| by Anonymous | reply 69 | June 11, 2022 11:24 PM |
[quote]- I find you need to get something that is used -
Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I don’t think a washed up ho is appropriate in this particular circumstance.
| by Anonymous | reply 70 | June 14, 2022 3:43 PM |
Give them a travel mug stuffed with condoms and lube packets, with a note that reads "For those inevitable business trips!"
| by Anonymous | reply 71 | June 14, 2022 3:48 PM |
R66 Do surrogates offer/accept gift certificates? That's a robust business model!
| by Anonymous | reply 72 | June 14, 2022 3:49 PM |
If you call your friends A gays you are an idiot!
| by Anonymous | reply 73 | June 14, 2022 4:15 PM |
A nice wedding photo frame
| by Anonymous | reply 74 | June 14, 2022 5:56 PM |
I think you punt it. Go for a gift that is calling it in- a gift certificate to a restaurant near them or Williams Sonoma. Don't stand out either way.
| by Anonymous | reply 75 | June 14, 2022 6:00 PM |
Agree R5. A charity related gift in their name, not more stuff for them.
| by Anonymous | reply 76 | June 14, 2022 6:05 PM |
