At the risk of sounding totally MARY!(I'm really not) I feel like a lot of gay men think being mean=funny but its not always funny in my opinion. This became more apparent to me yesterday when my downstairs neighbor invited me to a get together he was having with his boyfriend and some of their friends. It felt like I was in an episode of real housewives or something. I was shocked at bored I was hanging out with these young men who spent the evening watching TV and trash talking. It seems the trend today is "reading someone" or "dragging" which back in the day simply meant telling someone off. I don't find the humor in humiliation I'm sorry. Life is not the movie Mean Girls but I feel a lot of gay want to be Regina George. I feel like there are all kinds of ways to be funny. Am I the only out of the loop here?
| by Anonymous | reply 67 | January 19, 2023 10:33 PM |
To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
Come sit next to me OP.
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | January 17, 2023 1:39 PM |
That’s what DL is for. I stay the fuck away from bitches whose only humor is to be nasty to anyone and everyone, including those in their social circle.
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | January 17, 2023 1:46 PM |
Exactly R3. Don't get me wrong I love sarcasm and can do it with the best of them but there's an art to it that name calling and insults dont really convey. There's really no art to "dragging" it's just insulting people in the most rude way possible but the young men I described in my OP think that shit is so hilarious.
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | January 17, 2023 2:35 PM |
THROWING SHADE isn't insulting someone - it's a backhanded compliment which is lost on a lot of people. It's not a direct attack but rather saying something that cast a shadow on someone's light. Like, "you are really brave to wear that outfit. I wouldn't have the courage." That is a shady comment. READING someone is a bit more direct, but still isn't a direct insult - commenting on someone's appearance. Like when Portia Williams commented on a fellow housewife's wide-set breast and said her "tits were social distancing." That is a read. READING FOR FILTH is definitely more direct and paints a more clear image, but it still is funny in its description. Like saying a chubby girl in her yoga outfit looks like a "busted can of biscuits."
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | January 17, 2023 2:56 PM |
OP you don't see the irony on making that post here on DL. Perhaps you should have saved it for Queerty or Reddick.
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | January 17, 2023 3:03 PM |
That's well summarized R5. But many people are blending online and performed personae with their face to face encounters and social life. in the old days even the meanest cunts knew how and when to dish out, in the correct quantity, to keep getting invited to social gatherings.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | January 17, 2023 3:10 PM |
Nailed it R7. A lot of guys don't know how to reign it in, every other word is an insult and it comes off more rude and abrasive rather than humorous. One of the guys at last night's party told me that" dragging bitches" is his favorite pastime and I remember thinking "that's unfortunate". No hobbies or anything just "dragging bitches". I like to laugh just not at other's misfortune.
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | January 17, 2023 3:25 PM |
OP what you are describing are faggots. And their annoying as fuck. If you must be bitchy all the time, there is something wrong with you.
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | January 17, 2023 3:45 PM |
Some of you need to read the definition of insult. "you are really brave to wear that outfit. I wouldn't have the courage." and her "tits were social distancing." Unkind comments meant to demean or diminish.
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | January 17, 2023 4:04 PM |
It's all in how it's delivered R12. There is alway plausible deniability. I wouldn't have the courage and saying someone is more brave than you can be a compliment. It can be taken either way and actually meant either way. It is not an insult unless the person purposefully intends it to be. Or unless you are tender to the touch.
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | January 17, 2023 4:17 PM |
Well, I feel SAWRRY far them!
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | January 17, 2023 4:19 PM |
What r6 said.
You are posting this on the DL, a forum defined by it's bitchy vibe?!
Some people are wittier than others, but throwing shade at your friends is a form of gay bonding. You guys aren't really close if you don't feel comfortable poking at each other.
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | January 17, 2023 4:23 PM |
There is no irony R6 and I know exactly where I am R15 my point is for these guys shade and reading is a way of life not just online. And yes there's a lot of bitchery on here but there's also a variety of personalities and topics if you look for it. These guys trash talk their own friends both to their face and behind their backs and that energy feels different up close compared to being anonymous behind a screen. Idk man, I can't be so negative all the time. I know how to log off DL and keep my most mean thoughts to myself. I would never have any friends if I acted the same in real life like I do on here.
| by Anonymous | reply 16 | January 17, 2023 4:34 PM |
No it isn't in the delivery, R13, Fucking hell. When making an observation about another you either intend to be unkind or you don't. It's not complicated. I mean, I don't give a fuck I'm one of the meaner cunts on DL, but Jesus, all this pussy footing around. You want to be a cunt, own it, but don't snivel. An insult is never kind. It is meant to demean.
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | January 17, 2023 4:35 PM |
Calm down r17. Jesus. I get it, own your CUNTYdom. But there is a difference between throwing shade, which is a part of gay culture and being a straight up CUNT like you seem to be proud to be. And of course it's all about the delivery. I can throw shade at a friend with them full aware that it's shade and not have it come across as cunty, but funny. And we both laugh. And I wouldn't have done it to demean them or bring them down. I'd be doing as a joke that they are in on just as they would do to me.
I think the OP is saying this group of people seem to do it all the time and have no way else of expressing themselves. AND they do it in a way that's intended to be mean. So they are CUNTS, like you.
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | January 17, 2023 4:43 PM |
It is all in the delivery. People can tell if you are being mean or just trying to have a little fun among friends. There is a big difference.
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | January 17, 2023 4:45 PM |
[quote]A lot of guys don't know how to reign it in,
Oh, dear.
[quote]a forum defined by it's bitchy vibe?!
Oh, dear!
[quote]And their annoying as fuck.
Oh, DEAR!
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | January 17, 2023 4:51 PM |
Fair enough, R18. You make a good point. You'll make it even better when you learn to make it one go.
And I'd thicken your skin a bit, for someone so skilled in the art of insulting, you got a bit tetchy in your two paragraphs teaching me how to relax.
xo
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | January 17, 2023 4:54 PM |
You're overpaid R21 hit the road.
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | January 17, 2023 4:57 PM |
I get what you mean OP, but I do love shade as long as it's truly FUNNY.
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | January 17, 2023 4:58 PM |
Certainly. But it is the most satisfying.
| by Anonymous | reply 25 | January 17, 2023 5:06 PM |
[quote]Life is not the movie Mean Girls but I feel a lot of gay want to be Regina George.
Why bless your poor, little, retarded heart to think some white actress invented "throwing shade."
Learn your history.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 26 | January 17, 2023 5:16 PM |
When someone is as hard-headed as you are r22, sometimes takes two wallops.
And I see the xanax to relax is kicking in because that writing is getting wonky.
| by Anonymous | reply 27 | January 17, 2023 5:37 PM |
[.quote] Why bless your poor, little, retarded heart to think some white actress invented "throwing shade."
I never said that you bitter queen R26 but go off thinking that you've done something. I can practically here your lisping with every type and the loud high pitched cackle as you hit "post". I don't need a history lesson from someone with no brains so shove it up your loose booty hole.
| by Anonymous | reply 28 | January 17, 2023 5:40 PM |
Sounds like that group of friends you detest is wearing off on you OP, R28.
| by Anonymous | reply 29 | January 17, 2023 5:46 PM |
[.quote] I can practically here your lisping with every type
I'm going to "oh dear!" Myself before someone else does. I obviously meant "hear" instead of "here" my apologies.
| by Anonymous | reply 30 | January 17, 2023 5:50 PM |
I'm sorry R29 but he called me retarded so I felt compelled to return the same energy. I'm on DL so I'm good.
| by Anonymous | reply 31 | January 17, 2023 5:55 PM |
[quote][.quote]
Anyone who doesn't know how to do quotes properly is retarded.
| by Anonymous | reply 32 | January 17, 2023 7:41 PM |
[quote]One of the guys at last night's party told me that" dragging bitches" is his favorite pastime and I remember thinking "that's unfortunate".
Thankfully, you were able to take your depleted tray of hors d'oeuvres back to the kitchen for a reload.
| by Anonymous | reply 33 | January 17, 2023 7:49 PM |
But enough about your mother R32. Her giving birth to you makes her retarded.
| by Anonymous | reply 34 | January 17, 2023 7:51 PM |
See, now r33 gets it.
He knows the distinction between harmless bitchy teasing and the way it is said.
| by Anonymous | reply 35 | January 17, 2023 8:05 PM |
I get it, OP. I'd avoid that group of guys. You know they're talking about you (negatively) the minute you leave the party.
| by Anonymous | reply 36 | January 17, 2023 8:28 PM |
Thanks R33 I needed the laugh.
| by Anonymous | reply 37 | January 17, 2023 8:35 PM |
I'm R26, R32 and R33.
AND I know enough NOT to go after DLers' family members. Looking at you R34, aka OP.
| by Anonymous | reply 38 | January 17, 2023 9:21 PM |
No R38 calling someone retarded is extremely low brow. And the person did it twice. Gloves are off.
| by Anonymous | reply 39 | January 17, 2023 9:52 PM |
OP, let's go have a nice little chat for a while. In my basement.
| by Anonymous | reply 40 | January 17, 2023 10:00 PM |
Fisting or dueling, R39??
🙀
| by Anonymous | reply 41 | January 17, 2023 10:01 PM |
You know how bitchy fags can be.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 43 | January 17, 2023 11:41 PM |
Wait, OP, who was the target of the meanness?
| by Anonymous | reply 44 | January 18, 2023 12:07 AM |
Would someone say what this thread is about?
The OP seems cuckoo.
| by Anonymous | reply 45 | January 18, 2023 12:16 AM |
[quote]Gloves are off.
Well, I'm going to need help with mine.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 46 | January 18, 2023 12:22 AM |
Throwing shade is bossy bottom humor.
| by Anonymous | reply 47 | January 18, 2023 12:23 AM |
And OP, you seem a little thin-skinned to be on DL. You might want to reconsider posting.
| by Anonymous | reply 48 | January 18, 2023 12:24 AM |
“Sarcasm” means “to tear flesh.”
I am wary of people who overdo it. A little bit of sarcasm is okay, but often I’ve found that beneath that sarcasm lies an angry, bitter person.
No thanks.
| by Anonymous | reply 49 | January 18, 2023 12:38 AM |
[quote] A little bit of sarcasm is okay, but often I’ve found that beneath that sarcasm lies an angry, bitter person.
I see. And that's why you come to Datalounge to relax.
| by Anonymous | reply 51 | January 18, 2023 2:59 AM |
That’s because flyoverstan bitches only know gay life from TV.
| by Anonymous | reply 52 | January 18, 2023 3:34 AM |
Sarcasm and put-down humor were all the rage in the ‘90s, especially among the lower orders.
| by Anonymous | reply 53 | January 19, 2023 4:00 AM |
The definition from the Queen of Shade herself
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 56 | January 19, 2023 8:34 AM |
^She already spoke at R26.
| by Anonymous | reply 57 | January 19, 2023 12:57 PM |
The thing is R56 I didn’t ask for a definition of Shade. All I said in my OP is Shade is not the only way to be funny. Shading, Reading and Dragging is just attacking someone's looks or appearance and all I said was I didn't find the humor in that. The guys in my OP are younger and immature and get off on attacking someone's appearance in a more Mean Girl cliquish way than trying to be humorous. I guess its hard to describe unless you were there but the energy was very negative and dark. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if they had started talking shit about me after I left. It was that kind of vibe. I got the feeling these guys had been hurt by other men in the past and haven't healed from it.
| by Anonymous | reply 58 | January 19, 2023 1:44 PM |
I guess OP someone sent you the definition of Shade because you don't quite get it yet. "Dragging a Bitch" and throwing Shade are different things. I guess you equating Shade with attacking someone is what is throwing people off. Either you don't get exactly what it is OR you are extremely sensitive on a Millennial "I Feel Triggered," level.
| by Anonymous | reply 59 | January 19, 2023 3:23 PM |
It was a combination of things R59. They would say something disrespectful and then say " No shade but shade" what would you call that? Another one told me he likes to "drag bitches" and proceeded to mock everyone's outfits including mine and then say "no shade" but it was definitely shady. Maybe I'm confused because they were doing it all at once. Maybe they dont know the definition? Idk . I'm a late millennial btw i hardly get "triggered" i can laugh at myself. But whenever I would try to talk about another topic they would just bring it back to whoever tbey were trash talking. It just felt more mean than humor.
| by Anonymous | reply 60 | January 19, 2023 3:42 PM |
You’re spot on, OP.
I work with a very mean person. All she does is throw shade all day long at anyone or anything she hears about, that she even ever so slightly, disagrees with.
She’s MISERABLE and a bad alcoholic
Case closed.
| by Anonymous | reply 62 | January 19, 2023 4:04 PM |
Well it's clear OP, R60, they don't know what Shade means. You can't say "You look terrible, no shade." Just like a shadow, shade is subtle and has gradients. And good really good shade someone doesn't feel until they have time to think about it and question whether you meant it or not, like a papercut. It's not stupid and obvious - which it sounds like your friends are. And shade is fun when used with like minded friends who are smart enough to pick up on it and can laugh with you. You actually get smarter, wittier and more perceptive if you hang around people who know how to throw good shade. I guess now "No Shade" is just the gay version of the straight world's "No Homo."
The full expression is "No Tea, No Shade". No Tea No Shade = I don't mean to be mean, but... And when someone says that, usually what they are about to say is going to be mean, and they probably mean it.
| by Anonymous | reply 63 | January 19, 2023 6:42 PM |
Quick example of a simple shady comment. If you have a dumb girl friend who struggles with understanding anything remotely intellectual and says something stupid, you'd say, "Remind me to give you my mom's lasagna recipe." The implication being she won't be able to make it in the world by herself and will have to win a man over to take care of her. Those are shady comments and depending on the company it will get a laugh or go right over the person's head.
| by Anonymous | reply 64 | January 19, 2023 7:06 PM |
I’m not going to lie, that went right over my head, r64.
But then again I’m an Eldergay.
| by Anonymous | reply 65 | January 19, 2023 10:05 PM |
Op it’s a defense mechanism. I’ll lash out first to protect my fragile ego from being lashed.
| by Anonymous | reply 66 | January 19, 2023 10:10 PM |
Someone as good-looking as you are shouldn’t have a fragile ego. You’re hawt.
| by Anonymous | reply 67 | January 19, 2023 10:33 PM |
