Years ago I saw a Craigslist ad for a penis sizing party. What the hell?
The ad was from a retired army physician who hosting the event at the neighborhood Marriott. He was conducting a survey on gay American men's penises. This doctor was travelling around the country on his own dime, doing this very, very important work. The ad made it clear that it was seeking a representative sample of gay males to attend and be measured. And I thought, What the fuck, I'll go check it out. Honestly, I believed it would merely serve as an orgy's justification.
Nonetheless, it was the real deal. As soon as you walked into the hotel room, you were given a number and told to wait for your flaccid dick to be measured. The doctor was approaching the situation as scientifically as possible. He measured you with calipers and other precision measuring tools, and his assistant typed all of the data into a laptop. After everyone had been measured, we were told to go have sex in the adjacent room, and the doctor would walk around the orgy to measure our erections.
Of course, the crowd was young and hung, because no one would want to go get measured if they already knew they had a little dick. I'm bigger than average so no worries there, but I wouldn't have gone if I were average or smaller. So the orgy followed, which was not particularly fun due to the lack of porn, music, alcohol, or drugs. I did, however, see one of the largest penises I've ever seen, but I didn't get to play with it. FYI it belonged to a very skinny, extremely tall white guy with long silver hair.
When the doctor came to take my measurements, I told him I wasn't fully erect yet, but he rudely took them anyway. This is probably because I was messing around with his handsome assistant and the doctor was a bit jealous. After the orgy and everyone had been measured erect, he told us to leave our email if we wanted our results.
So about a year later, I received my results. The doctor had completed his cross-country survey, and I had my measurements as well as a comparison of my specific dick details compared to the rest of the gay male population in the United States.
I filed the email under "stupid miscellaneous things I might want to read again" and here are my results. Please note my erect section is not correct since I wasn't hard YET when Dr. Jealous measured me.
