Are so annoying. I have a coworker who has given me the silent treatment for a year. She had a death in the family so I just chalked it up to depression. When she has no choice but to respond it's brusque and monosyllabic or full on bitchy. I asked one day if I'd done something to piss her off and she pretty much confirmed it wasn't me, it was life. Then she started doing it to another coworker who put up with it for a few months before finally snapping at her and telling her she wasn't interested in working with her anymore and The Silent Coworker is quitting. Seemingly surprised that she wasn't treated with respect after disrespecting us for months. Amazing. I should mention this person is in her 50s
| by Anonymous | reply 47 | April 8, 2024 10:03 PM |
Why is her being in her 50s relevant?
| by Anonymous | reply 1 | April 8, 2024 2:32 PM |
OP is probably a sociopath who is getting “greyrocked”
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | April 8, 2024 2:33 PM |
Sometime you can be boiling with rage and silence is the best path forward. Timely post Op as I just had an argument with a work friend on the way into the office. It was about work so not fun. I’m PISSED and really don’t want to say anything or else I could end this friendship but mentally I’m over her. I run hot and cold with people. For now, I’m not saying shit because we are at work and I need to maintain my composure.
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | April 8, 2024 2:34 PM |
So someone you think has significant mental health issues and your response is to start a thread on DL after she is out of a job.
And your concern is that you have been triggered by her lack of respect toward you.
This is why there is a DL.
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | April 8, 2024 2:35 PM |
OP sounds like a messy Yassss Kween
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | April 8, 2024 2:41 PM |
I also don't understand what this woman being in her fifties has to do with anything.
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | April 8, 2024 2:44 PM |
R1 I'm not the OP, but I think it's relevant because I'd probably cut someone younger a bit more slack, as you could put it down to immaturity or inexperience.
However, someone in their 50s (who's presumably been working in office environments for many years) should know better.
I find it strange that people are acting like OP is the problem here. If someone has mental health problems, it's not on coworkers to deal with the fallout of that. Their manager should take that into account and direct them to help if they need it.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | April 8, 2024 2:45 PM |
Because this shit is middle school behavior. Something to be grown out of when you graduate high school
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | April 8, 2024 2:46 PM |
I don't think that mental health problems skip people who are middle-aged.
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | April 8, 2024 2:48 PM |
If she’s always silent and silent to everyone, it’s not “the silent treatment.”
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | April 8, 2024 2:49 PM |
It's so passive aggressive. Totally unacceptable behavior in the workplace.
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | April 8, 2024 2:50 PM |
OP said she's in her 50s R11. Maybe you've got me blocked though.
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | April 8, 2024 2:51 PM |
She could be grey-rocking you because she thinks you're a toxic narcissist.
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | April 8, 2024 2:52 PM |
Oh I see Thanks R16 & R17.
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | April 8, 2024 2:57 PM |
[quote]OP is probably a sociopath who is getting “greyrocked”
It really could go either way.
Silent treatment is also often weapon of choice for manipulators trying to gain the upper hand and power in a relationship. Or, OP could be the narc.
It's impossible to know for certain which although OP's story is suspect with missing missing reasons. Notice OP doesn't relate anything about their relationship prior to the silent treatment (or grey rocking) and pointedly doesn't mention anything about the actual job or work and the context of any conversations.
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | April 8, 2024 2:58 PM |
I had a co-worker who did this for years. She was proud of it. She explained to me when I started working there that she gave a person one chance and then she said if they failed her again in some way — she made a cutting-them-off-at-the-knees gesture.
She was universally loathed.
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | April 8, 2024 3:03 PM |
I have done this at work when I feel that I have no other alternative after being treated disrespectfully, including by my manager.
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | April 8, 2024 3:09 PM |
[quote]I have done this at work when I feel that I have no other alternative after being treated disrespectfully, including by my manager.
I'm sure that's an effective strategy.
There is a difference between the silent treatment and only engaging in professional conversations only. Being professional is not the same as being friendly. You probably should learn the difference.
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | April 8, 2024 3:13 PM |
What else do you want to know? It's retail. She's done it to others in the past and generally has a prickly personality. Customers complain about her bluntness and "lack of warmth" all the time. None of us are narcissists and we're all pretty friendly and easy to get along with. It's not "greyrocking" it's just bitchiness. When she did talk to us it was mean comments about perfectly lovely customers. We've always been kind to her tho. But if you tell her 10 times that new OPEN sign sucks and to be sure to check it when turning it off at night or on in the morning she takes it as a personal attack. She's the one who seems narcissistic and fault finding. Always thinks she the smartest person in the room.
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | April 8, 2024 3:13 PM |
[quote] There is a difference between the silent treatment and only engaging in professional conversations only.
I continued to communicate if it was necessary for work reasons. So I wasn't totally "silent". I know the difference.
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | April 8, 2024 3:32 PM |
I wish I had a job whose key function is checking the Open sign!
| by Anonymous | reply 25 | April 8, 2024 3:32 PM |
I mean there's a lot of other shit too. She delights in pointing out other's mistakes but acts like it's a personal attack if you notice one of hers. It's going to be a delight not to have to tip toe around her anymore
| by Anonymous | reply 26 | April 8, 2024 3:39 PM |
“I’m sorry you feel that way.” 👀
| by Anonymous | reply 27 | April 8, 2024 3:52 PM |
"The silent treatment is the practice of withholding communication from a person during a conflict. Individuals with abusive tendencies sometimes use the silent treatment as a tool to shame, punish or manipulate."
| by Anonymous | reply 28 | April 8, 2024 4:07 PM |
I've given a few co-workers the silent treatment throughout my career, but I only did it to those who were complete assholes to me and/or who tried to screw me over.
I engaged with them professionally when I had to, but other than that, I pretended they didn't exist.
| by Anonymous | reply 29 | April 8, 2024 4:20 PM |
There are people at work who I communicate with on a professional or an as-needed basis, only. IMO, it's an acceptable way of dealing with people you don't like on a personal level. I need to get my job done and not waste time. If I were to quit my job tomorrow, I wouldn't be chit-chatting with these people.
| by Anonymous | reply 30 | April 8, 2024 4:25 PM |
OP, don’t worry; you will be secure in your job in ten years - especially since you speak for all of the “pretty friendly and easy to get along with” team.
Thank goodness you have the strength to share the shitty things “perfectly lovely” customers have said about her.
Do you pick your nose and absentmindedly roll your boogers? Do you look like Philip Seymour Hoffman? I think we met. Your mom didn’t die from cancer; she faked her own death to get away from you.
| by Anonymous | reply 31 | April 8, 2024 4:49 PM |
Here's the thing, she'd do that silent treatment bullshit when discussing work things too. You'd ask her a question and she wouldn't respond and just walk off. Fucking crazy making and unsafe because we deal with medical things.
| by Anonymous | reply 32 | April 8, 2024 5:08 PM |
Just be glad she no longer works there. I'd be happy if an unpleasant coworker quit or got terminated.
Age does not always bring wisdom and maturity. Yeah, it's sad to be in your 50s and still acting immature, but very few people work on themselves and make improvements.
| by Anonymous | reply 33 | April 8, 2024 5:15 PM |
R32 Totally unacceptable. Not responding can be way more rude than calling someone an asshole.
| by Anonymous | reply 34 | April 8, 2024 5:16 PM |
I work with an impossibly difficult bitch at work and I'm sure she thinks I give her the silent treatment a lot but I'm just sparing her from what I'd really like to say.
| by Anonymous | reply 35 | April 8, 2024 5:35 PM |
A woman at work argued with me over something stupid after I gave her information she didn't like. She punished me by giving me the silent treatment. Hallelujah. I was quite pleased never to talk to that hag again.
| by Anonymous | reply 36 | April 8, 2024 5:36 PM |
I grew up in a family that used the silent treatment so, of course, I also used it. Then I grew up and realized it's a shitty way to treat people so I stopped.
| by Anonymous | reply 37 | April 8, 2024 6:11 PM |
So respect with you is transitional, OP?
Figures.
| by Anonymous | reply 38 | April 8, 2024 6:14 PM |
I had this happen two years ago with a long-time colleague. I continued to be extremely friendly so that she would have to be really deliberate in her silence.
| by Anonymous | reply 39 | April 8, 2024 6:37 PM |
R38, I feel like if you disrespect others for years and months it's pretty audacious not to expect a response.
| by Anonymous | reply 40 | April 8, 2024 6:52 PM |
Does OP have Spunk? Some coworkers hate spunk.
| by Anonymous | reply 41 | April 8, 2024 7:25 PM |
The silent temper tantrum. So annoying.
| by Anonymous | reply 42 | April 8, 2024 7:27 PM |
I look at my watch. I look at them. And they get it.
| by Anonymous | reply 43 | April 8, 2024 7:30 PM |
If you can't be mature enough to at fake civility, you should be fired. No one has time for drama at work. Fuck that bitch. I'm Team OP all the way.
| by Anonymous | reply 44 | April 8, 2024 8:08 PM |
R44 I think the silent treatment is civil. Sure beats having public hissy fits.
| by Anonymous | reply 45 | April 8, 2024 8:51 PM |
In my mind I want to reply, but in fact I shall say nothing.
| by Anonymous | reply 46 | April 8, 2024 8:56 PM |
The silent treatment is a pathological behavior exhibited to manipulate and punish others.
| by Anonymous | reply 47 | April 8, 2024 10:03 PM |
