Deb Messing IS Arabella Faircloth, an acquaintance from Bertha's past whom Bertha is desperate to shun but cannot — because Arabella knows a secret about her.
Sample dialogue:
ARABELLA (walking into Bertha's mansion for the first time; whistling) "Skinamarink! I feel like I'm in Queen Victoria's very own palace, Berty!"
| by Anonymous | reply 48 | February 14, 2022 5:44 AM |
Kim Cattrall is Lady Mary Wentforth, all school mate of Aunt Ada who married rich and moved to England. She’s come back to NYC to be an insufferable bitch to poor Spinster Ada
| by Anonymous | reply 1 | February 11, 2022 3:28 AM |
Bette Midler is Dolly Levenson, the irrepressible meddling elder sister sister of London-bound Ira Levenson (Christopher Lloyd) and his grasping wife Martha, Carrie Coons in a dual role and a brassy red wig.
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | February 11, 2022 2:43 PM |
Brenda Dickson, as Bertha's much younger sister: "I love what you've done with the place, but now it's time to show those society bitches what's what. We're going to have a party that will make their tongues wag, their heads spin, and their husbands stray."
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | February 11, 2022 3:32 PM |
SJP as the iceman’s palomino horse whose tail is lopped off to make a braided wig for Baranski’s humorless dowager.
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | February 11, 2022 3:44 PM |
I'm Mo'Nique as Lady Astor's sassy sister: "Giiiiiiirl, you sure in high cotton here in the city. I can't wait to meet some of them men-folk with they dicks swinging round in they pants at one of them balls you throw, honey. Cause, baby, I'm about to put the ASS in Astor!"
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | February 11, 2022 3:50 PM |
Brilliant R3, but I believe Brenda's auditioning to play Bertha's teenaged daughter.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 6 | February 11, 2022 3:58 PM |
Jim Parsons as Eugene V. Debs, a young politician from Indiana who comes to New York seeking campaign contributions and becomes a bomb-throwing socialist after spending a week with the main cast.
Zoey Deutch as Queen Maria Christina, the Spanish King's young new bride, who learns wifely manipulation and frosty social rule from Agnes.
Dominic Burgess as George Westinghouse and Neil Patrick Harris as Thomas Edison. Both come to New York to demonstrate their electrical inventions in a brutally nerdy rivalry with one another, but a chance encounter with Oscar at the Turkish Baths leads to sparks of another variety.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | February 11, 2022 4:49 PM |
Billy Porter as Ida B. Wells, who has come up from Tennessee to teach Peggy a thing or two about journalism and to voice the suffering of the African-American people by creating drama and wearing fabulous and glamorous outfits.
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | February 11, 2022 4:55 PM |
I'm Sara Ramirez as Cornelius Vanderbilt III. I'm seen swaggering through ballrooms and finger-banging ladies' maids.
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | February 11, 2022 5:07 PM |
I'm Sean Cody's Stu. I play John Adam's trainer / sparring partner at the gym.
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | February 11, 2022 5:43 PM |
I'm Oprah, I play the mammy character
| by Anonymous | reply 11 | February 11, 2022 5:46 PM |
I'm Nicole Ritchie, I will play a scullery maid. Being biracial will be part of my brief storyline (please don't tell them I'm only adopted by Lionel Ritchie!).
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | February 11, 2022 5:50 PM |
I'm all of Meryl's other children who are in the business. We fill the ballroom.
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | February 11, 2022 6:02 PM |
I'm Gus Kenworthy as Adelbert Thistlebottom, Oscar's randy new manservant. Oscar brings me into a throuple after he and John agree to open their relationship.
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | February 11, 2022 6:04 PM |
I'm George Hamilton, bitter I didn't get a call. I'm usually the go to for the debonair gentlemen in period pieces
| by Anonymous | reply 16 | February 11, 2022 6:11 PM |
I'm Maggie Smith reprising my role as The Dowager Countess of Grantham, come to visit and look down my nose at all you vulgar Americans
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | February 11, 2022 6:13 PM |
I’m Sutton Foster, I’ll bring my own hoop skirt and work for scale if you’ll give me more lines than Kelli O’Hara.
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | February 11, 2022 6:18 PM |
I'm Miss Dunaway and I'm making a comeback as THE Mrs Caroline Astor, queen of society, endlessly revising my 400 list .
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | February 11, 2022 6:18 PM |
That part has already been filled by Donna Murphy, Miss Dunaway.
You must not be watching.
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | February 11, 2022 6:29 PM |
I'm Lara Flynn Boyle. I play the beggar woman screaming "city on fire!" at the corner of 61st and 5th. Sharon Gless plays Javerette, the cop who hurries me along while Christine Baranski glares from her window.
I took the part because they promised me a very special Gilded Age where Carrie Coons uses me for target practise.
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | February 11, 2022 6:35 PM |
I'm Kathy Bates as Alva Erskine Vanderbilt. Rather than recycle my Molly Brown from [italic]Titanic,[/italic] I'm playing her like Mother Burnside from [italic]Auntie Mame[/italic] and Laganja Estranja from Drag Race, OKURRRRRRR?
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | February 11, 2022 6:36 PM |
I'm Tori Spelling. Mom bought my part as a conciliatory gesture.
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | February 11, 2022 6:38 PM |
I'm Joan Collins and I play Antoinette Colbington Carey, a name and part that my delightful and talented old friend Julian thought up just for me after I promised to pay for lunches at The Ivy Covent Garden.
George Russell screws me over in business, but not in bed. I am last seen heading for Chastity Gulch.
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | February 11, 2022 6:40 PM |
I'm Samuel L. Jackson muthafuckas! Here to bitchslap some sense into these white ladies
| by Anonymous | reply 25 | February 11, 2022 6:40 PM |
I’m Greg Berlanti. I’ve managed to get something for Colton. He’s a new footman who catches Oscar’s eye.
| by Anonymous | reply 26 | February 11, 2022 6:41 PM |
[quote]That part has already been filled by Donna Murphy, Miss Dunaway. You must not be watching.
You can bet your sweet BIPPY I'm watching.
I've never heard of that woman. But that part--any part--is mine for the asking. Hell, I don't even have to ask. I'm a STAR!
| by Anonymous | reply 27 | February 11, 2022 6:44 PM |
I'm Cher. I play the madame of an upmarket whorehouse, I have singing and social aspirations. I keep the secrets of all who enter my premises and am not above blackmailing my social conscious clientele.
| by Anonymous | reply 28 | February 11, 2022 6:48 PM |
I’m Fran Lebowitz, I will do a cameo in which I will flick my wrist disdainfully and declare that New York City is over, provided I can smoke on camera and sit down the whole time. I’m the same suit-size as Morgan Spector if it helps. Also, I won’t go to Troy.
| by Anonymous | reply 29 | February 11, 2022 6:52 PM |
I’m Gal Gadot. I shall appear as Sarah Bernhardt on a New York tour. Officially, I shall be scorned by le beau monde, but I shall teach Larry Russell a thing or two.
| by Anonymous | reply 31 | February 11, 2022 7:02 PM |
I’m Bernard Telsey, apologies to Cher and Gal Gadot but the budget for this show only allows for Drama Desk Award nominees and Australians.
| by Anonymous | reply 32 | February 11, 2022 7:14 PM |
I’m Cybill Shepard. I play a VD riddled aged out streetwalker hanging out on 5th Ave. in an unusually violent scene Dame Baranski gets away with kicking me to death as guest star Chuck Lorre stands by cheering.
| by Anonymous | reply 33 | February 11, 2022 7:31 PM |
I'm Bowen Yang. I play a wealthy silk industry fop who convinces headstrong Marian to toss off her binding corsets to live a more modern, comfortable life. Weeks later she is horrified to discover daguerreotypes of me wearing her corsets on French postcards hidden in Oscar's boudoir.
| by Anonymous | reply 34 | February 11, 2022 8:01 PM |
[quote] I'm Cher. I play the madame of an upmarket whorehouse, I have singing and social aspirations. I keep the secrets of all who enter my premises and am not above blackmailing my social conscious clientele.
I hope Marion Brook tries to join your bordello, and you make her demonstrate her seductive prowess.
"Wagon Wheel Watusi!"
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 35 | February 11, 2022 9:28 PM |
[quote] I’m Cybill Shepard. I play a VD riddled aged out streetwalker hanging out on 5th Ave. in an unusually violent scene Dame Baranski gets away with kicking me to death as guest star Chuck Lorre stands by cheering.
We'd be happy to be background parts for this scene as well!
| by Anonymous | reply 36 | February 11, 2022 9:29 PM |
We're Meghan Hilty and Katherine McPhee. We play rival saloon singers at Cheeries on the Lower East Side, both claiming to be the long not so lost daughter of Bertha Russell. We'll be interesting for about one episode and then stagger on for another ten to twenty before we're written out when Uncle Julian just stops writing about us.
| by Anonymous | reply 37 | February 11, 2022 9:41 PM |
I’m Melissa Beth Miller, DL icon with one more IMDB credit and ten times more onscreen charisma than Louisa Jacobson. I’m corseted to the gods and ready to serve drama for your nerves, queens. Bashful wallflower at a Knickbocker ball or eye-rolling scullery maid, I contain multitudes. I am an icon, I am a legend and I am the moment.
| by Anonymous | reply 38 | February 11, 2022 10:27 PM |
Do they like need somebody person to like handle the guns and ammo and like other deadly doodads.
I have experience and I'm looking for a job. No references.
| by Anonymous | reply 39 | February 11, 2022 10:43 PM |
Can we get Froy and Richard Madden on there?
| by Anonymous | reply 40 | February 12, 2022 12:46 AM |
I'm Catherine Zeta-Jones as an 18-year-old debutante
| by Anonymous | reply 41 | February 12, 2022 12:49 AM |
I'm Laverne Cox, the most sought-after young lady in NYC society at the fabulous engagement party my white parents are throwing for me.
I worry, oh how I worry, about my wedding night. Shall I just pretend to have a sick headache?
| by Anonymous | reply 42 | February 12, 2022 1:08 AM |
Just like back and think of Rhythm Nation.
| by Anonymous | reply 43 | February 12, 2022 1:17 AM |
Shailene Woodley as Oscar's beard
| by Anonymous | reply 44 | February 14, 2022 5:17 AM |
[quote] Shailene Woodley as Oscar's beard
Now, what are you implying, you gay nerd?
| by Anonymous | reply 45 | February 14, 2022 5:20 AM |
Special cameo by Donald Trump as the real estate tycoon who moves in next door. "Mr. Russell, I love your house. It's YUUUUUGGGGGE. I like your wife. Nice tits. Do you think she'd let me grab her by the pussy?"
| by Anonymous | reply 46 | February 14, 2022 5:28 AM |
R32 I have a Drama Desk Award. Shouldn't a western girl like Molly Brown come to town to shake things up?
| by Anonymous | reply 47 | February 14, 2022 5:43 AM |
This thread started as one thing and then became another of the tiresome “Let’s Be…” threads.
It was better when it was just a casting thread.
| by Anonymous | reply 48 | February 14, 2022 5:44 AM |
