I'm parking on the street so I can leave without anyone blocking me if there are no guys hotter than I am.
| by Anonymous | reply 198 | November 14, 2021 2:19 PM |
I'm the hose that piece of trash Randy is going to use for an enema.
| by Anonymous | reply 1 | July 26, 2021 12:34 AM |
I'm the "If you are taller than this line, you cannot ride" sign.
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | July 26, 2021 12:34 AM |
I'm the promised food that never appears.
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | July 26, 2021 12:36 AM |
I am the RSVP expressing my regrets.
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | July 26, 2021 12:37 AM |
I'm the guy who encourages a beautiful man wearing a white shirt to jump in fully clothed with me. Then other men in pastel shirts will join us, and before you know it, there are visible nipples underneath the shirts everywhere.
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | July 26, 2021 12:46 AM |
I'm the female condom that floats to the surface of the pool, claimed by no one but clearly ejected by someone.
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | July 26, 2021 12:47 AM |
I'm the desperate search for matches in the bathroom after dropping a deuce.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | July 26, 2021 12:48 AM |
I'm the empty can of White Claw held overhead by the host, who yells, "Is it REALLY that hard to walk this over to the recycle bin TWENTY FEET AWAY?"
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | July 26, 2021 12:48 AM |
R7
And I'm the hot Filipino sugar baby who walks in right after you flush and leave
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | July 26, 2021 12:49 AM |
I'm the O'Henry bar of chocolate in the pool!
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | July 26, 2021 12:51 AM |
I'm the Joan Crawford beach towel, greeted many times with "Oh my GOD, Dennis! Where did you get THAT?"
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 11 | July 26, 2021 12:52 AM |
I was invited to a big gay pool party yesterday. I declined the invitation..not feeling in a party mood these days. I did see some of the photos on Facebook. Lots of bears in speedos, tattooed lesbians in the pool, processed meat and sweaty cheese slices on the buffet table.
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | July 26, 2021 12:53 AM |
I'm the Dick Towel that nobody comments on. Fucking gays...
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 13 | July 26, 2021 12:53 AM |
I'm the sun damage waiting to emerge as a malignant melanoma in 20 years.
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | July 26, 2021 12:55 AM |
I'm the eight-pack of LaCroix water carried into the party by an older queen yelling "LaCroix, sweetie, LaCroix!"
No one under 35 gets the joke.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 15 | July 26, 2021 12:57 AM |
I'm the tomboy lezzie dressed in five layers and selling party favors over by the garbage cans.
| by Anonymous | reply 16 | July 26, 2021 12:57 AM |
I'm the inevitable moment all the swim trunks come off.
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | July 26, 2021 12:58 AM |
I’m the young, redneck twink hired to “deejay” over in the corner of the yard. I’m high as fuck, but I need to be when I’m forced to have a threeway later with the old queens hosting this shit show.
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | July 26, 2021 1:01 AM |
I'll be waiting next to you, R17. I've been to several pool parties where the swimsuits come off after midnight. I keep getting water in my nose.
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | July 26, 2021 1:01 AM |
I'm the shy ginger CPA sitting far away from the pool. Nobody's sure why I even came, if I'm not gonna get wet. Meanwhile, I'm wondering when the Black guys are gonna start showing up.
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | July 26, 2021 1:01 AM |
I'm all the old queens who keep talking about how we don't miss "the old days when everyone smoked weed", obviously hoping someone will break out the weed while we are still here.
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | July 26, 2021 1:04 AM |
I am the group photo that will later get picked apart by the gay twitter and become the subject of focus for body image, hot privilege, race relations and exclusivity in gay community.
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | July 26, 2021 1:06 AM |
I’m the “open minded straight guy.” I’m dating one of the fag hags, but after I get a few drinks in me, I’ll totally pull down my swim trunks and show you my cock when she’s not looking.
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | July 26, 2021 1:07 AM |
I’m the delta variant of the Corona Virus.
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | July 26, 2021 1:13 AM |
I'm the pile of slippery S&M gear the host clumsily forgot to lock away in the guest room closet. I will be found by snoopers who were only looking to score some Oxy from a medicine cabinet. They will tell stories about me for years, leaving out the part where each of them swiped one of the ass-smelling butt plugs from the pile.
| by Anonymous | reply 25 | July 26, 2021 1:15 AM |
I'm the neighbors going on NextDoor to complain about "all the cars parked on the street."
| by Anonymous | reply 26 | July 26, 2021 1:17 AM |
I'm the MAGA dad who sits up half the night watching the party through the blinds in the den. I told my wife I'm just keeping an eye on the fags for drugs and underage boys ("that's how they do, ya know!"), but it's getting harder and harder to hide my jealous erection.
| by Anonymous | reply 27 | July 26, 2021 1:21 AM |
Honey, if there are still spaces in the driveway when you get to the pool party you’re getting there too early.
| by Anonymous | reply 28 | July 26, 2021 1:22 AM |
I'm Jerek, and I'm spending all my time scrolling Grindr outside the pool because "you can catch anything from anyone in the water".
| by Anonymous | reply 29 | July 26, 2021 1:26 AM |
I’m the transmission of pathogens
| by Anonymous | reply 30 | July 26, 2021 1:31 AM |
I'm the curious neighbor husband peeking through the strategically-planted wall of Italian cypress trees.
| by Anonymous | reply 31 | July 26, 2021 1:35 AM |
R31, are you also the same neighbor as at R27?
| by Anonymous | reply 32 | July 26, 2021 1:36 AM |
R32, I'm the neighbor on the other side. Both have harpy frau wives.
| by Anonymous | reply 33 | July 26, 2021 1:38 AM |
I'm the DoorDash driver tasked with delivering $800 worth of jerked chicken and vodka. I'll get within half a block of the party, realize it's a bunch of queers who will offer to tip me with their cocks, and pretend I couldn't find the gate combination. I'd rather take an ass-chewing from my boss than risk getting an ass-chewing from those old fruits back there!
| by Anonymous | reply 34 | July 26, 2021 1:42 AM |
I'm the 67-year-old queen who thinks people believe me when I tell them that I am 42.
| by Anonymous | reply 35 | July 26, 2021 1:44 AM |
I’m Rock Hudson lounging by my pool having my Cock and hole serviced by hot beautiful blonde boys..
And then brunettes go next.
| by Anonymous | reply 36 | July 26, 2021 1:44 AM |
I'm the Unicorn Rainbow Pool Raft.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 37 | July 26, 2021 1:45 AM |
I'm the small group of A-list gays huddled under the pergola and syncing upcoming travel plans. We don't really know anybody here but the hosts Derek and Steve. We don't even really like Derek or Steve, but they're generous with their blow, so an afternoon slumming with the locals isn't all much of a big price to pay, as long as we're not seen talking to any of them our status will remain untarnished. After sunset, when we're high as fuck, we'll share a young thing in a secluded corner and then unobtrusively make our way out the back gate.
| by Anonymous | reply 38 | July 26, 2021 1:47 AM |
I'm the brooding "art student" who swims close to all the boys who rejected me last week, just so I can piss in their general direction. No one will know it was me!
| by Anonymous | reply 39 | July 26, 2021 1:47 AM |
I'm the hot, rough trade who accompanied the 67-year-old queen who thinks he looks 42. I'm only with him because he's generous.
| by Anonymous | reply 40 | July 26, 2021 1:48 AM |
STAY OFF MY FUCKING PEONIES!
| by Anonymous | reply 41 | July 26, 2021 1:49 AM |
PEONIES? Okay, I'll pee on these, but only if you insist!
| by Anonymous | reply 42 | July 26, 2021 1:50 AM |
I'm the much-awaited sunset. I serve to hide the many perceived and actual flaws of the guests.
| by Anonymous | reply 43 | July 26, 2021 1:52 AM |
I'm the pretentiousness that permeates this affair.
| by Anonymous | reply 44 | July 26, 2021 1:53 AM |
I’m $700 worth of liquor set up on a card table and being served in red Solo cups
| by Anonymous | reply 45 | July 26, 2021 1:56 AM |
I'm bubbles....lots and lots of bubbles....
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 46 | July 26, 2021 1:56 AM |
I'm the inlaid wood board with pebbles in a dim corner by the token nerds and ethnics.
| by Anonymous | reply 47 | July 26, 2021 2:06 AM |
I’m the guy with a huge anteater foreskin, they’re pouring tequila in it and guys are lining up for shots.
| by Anonymous | reply 48 | July 26, 2021 2:10 AM |
I'm Erna volunteering as the free porta potty for the event
| by Anonymous | reply 49 | July 26, 2021 2:11 AM |
I’m the periodic grunts and moans faintly heard from the furthest corners of the yard.
| by Anonymous | reply 51 | July 26, 2021 2:14 AM |
[quote] I'm the one black guy.
Are you included in the below?
[quote]token nerds and ethnics
| by Anonymous | reply 52 | July 26, 2021 2:14 AM |
I’m the racist who will whisper that I didn’t know black people liked swimming pools when the one black guy in R50 goes in the water.
| by Anonymous | reply 53 | July 26, 2021 2:15 AM |
I am the well-hung ethnic that one of the A-list gays corners and sucks off in private. If I ever see him in public, he will pretend he doesn't know me. That's the thanks I get for letting him swallow my load.
| by Anonymous | reply 54 | July 26, 2021 2:16 AM |
[quote] A-list gays corners and sucks off in private. If I ever see him in public, he will pretend he doesn't know me.
I'm the A-list gay who sucked off R54. I'm known on DL as the Cockgobbler.
| by Anonymous | reply 55 | July 26, 2021 2:17 AM |
[quote]Are you included in the below?
No. Ethnics = Non American Latinos
| by Anonymous | reply 56 | July 26, 2021 2:19 AM |
And Nerds = The scene queen who works in IT who only has a 6 pack instead of the standard 8 pack required for gay pool parties.
| by Anonymous | reply 57 | July 26, 2021 2:22 AM |
I the small piece of shit someone left on the floor and Howard is outraged. "Who shit on my kitchen floor?"
| by Anonymous | reply 58 | July 26, 2021 2:28 AM |
I am Howard blaming his husband who didn’t want the pool party to start with and is now apparently responsible for cleaning up the kitchen turd.
| by Anonymous | reply 59 | July 26, 2021 2:32 AM |
I'm the bears, who commandeer the hot tub and never leave except to fetch provisions.
| by Anonymous | reply 60 | July 26, 2021 2:38 AM |
I'm the perfectly nice looking gay who goes him feeling terrible about myself because no one tried to fuck me. I feel this way after every gay pool party but I keep going.for fear they will stop inviting me. I will work out extra hard all week at the gym. I'll show them next time.
| by Anonymous | reply 61 | July 26, 2021 2:41 AM |
I am Aaron Schock, who paid for me to be here, I don't remember?
| by Anonymous | reply 62 | July 26, 2021 2:42 AM |
[quote] never leave except to fetch provisions
I'm the provisions also known as fat, processed foods.
| by Anonymous | reply 63 | July 26, 2021 2:43 AM |
R2- The Bryan Singer troll
| by Anonymous | reply 64 | July 26, 2021 2:45 AM |
We're over here under the pergola, wearing caftans and oversized out-of-style sunglasses. Whenever the host wanders by we say thinly disguised compliments like "Oh, girl, we love your small pool. You've come a long way." We drink too much and say catty things about everyone, even the cute guys. Especially about the cute guys.
| by Anonymous | reply 65 | July 26, 2021 2:48 AM |
I'm the biggest pair of everyone's oversized pink, gay platform sneakers!!!
| by Anonymous | reply 66 | July 26, 2021 3:33 AM |
I'm the bear wearing the "Free Britney!" glitter t-shirt and no bottom.
| by Anonymous | reply 67 | July 26, 2021 3:40 AM |
I'm the guest list: A bunch of 18-24 year olds and a bunch of 50-60 year olds. No one between 25 and 49 allowed.
| by Anonymous | reply 68 | July 26, 2021 3:53 AM |
I'm the glob of semen that floats to the surface of the hot tub.
Who farted???
| by Anonymous | reply 69 | July 26, 2021 5:30 AM |
I'm the BBQ apron the host is wearing, which reads "Rim the Cook"
| by Anonymous | reply 70 | July 26, 2021 12:39 PM |
I’m the pile of mismatched towels that have a distinctive mildew smell and assorted bleach stains.
| by Anonymous | reply 71 | July 26, 2021 12:51 PM |
I’m the Wilton Manors police department, called in after midnight when the neighbors started complaining.
| by Anonymous | reply 72 | July 26, 2021 12:55 PM |
I’m flirting with the police officer
| by Anonymous | reply 73 | July 26, 2021 2:00 PM |
I’m all the catcalls and whistles when the uniformed cops arrive. At least one 60 year old (who thinks he looks 40) will make a double entendre about the cops gun or handcuffs.
| by Anonymous | reply 74 | July 26, 2021 2:05 PM |
I’m the ketamine drying out in the oven.
| by Anonymous | reply 75 | July 26, 2021 2:16 PM |
I'm a playlist full of dated remixes of Whitney Houston, Deborah Cox, Cher and Madonna songs. I'll be played at full volume the entire time.
| by Anonymous | reply 76 | July 26, 2021 3:28 PM |
What sort of gay pool party doesn't play Donna Summers?
| by Anonymous | reply 77 | July 26, 2021 3:37 PM |
[quote]I'm the curious neighbor husband peeking through the strategically-planted wall of Italian cypress trees.
Actually we're arborvitae, but thanks for the compliment!
| by Anonymous | reply 78 | July 26, 2021 3:50 PM |
[QUOTE] I'm a playlist full of dated remixes of Whitney Houston, Deborah Cox, Cher and Madonna
Don’t forget Mariah Carey. We will NEVER give up this music.
| by Anonymous | reply 79 | July 26, 2021 3:52 PM |
R29 How could we?. Honey is such an awesome track for summer pool parties. I can already see gays jumping off the rooftop to the pool like Mimi in the music video. One gay will even do it wearing heels, I'm sure.
| by Anonymous | reply 80 | July 26, 2021 4:00 PM |
I'm the owner's Great Dane, snoozing in the laundry room and giggling to myself that I was the one who shit on Rodney's kitchen floor.
I don't know where that hot-tub semen came from, though. These queers are so filthy.
| by Anonymous | reply 81 | July 26, 2021 4:03 PM |
I’m the homeowner’s yappy little dog. The Great Dane in the laundry room has had ENOUGH of my shit, but I intend to annoy every partygoer by being underfoot and circling the pool like mad barking at nothing. I wear a rhinestone collar and my owners call me Precious and bring me leftovers from Tulio’s.
| by Anonymous | reply 83 | July 26, 2021 4:32 PM |
I'm the friend of the friend who got invited because I have a big dick and spend the whole time hearing "can I see it" from the party goers.
| by Anonymous | reply 84 | July 26, 2021 5:05 PM |
I'm the fit muscular Euro bro with the pink deep V-neck and silver chain, complaining that not enough EDM is being played by the DJ.
| by Anonymous | reply 85 | July 26, 2021 7:38 PM |
I’m the party host explaining to Ladislav (the hot European in the pink shirt) that ‘Pandora’ is not an actual DJ.
| by Anonymous | reply 86 | July 26, 2021 7:59 PM |
I’m the optimistically full ice chest of White Claw hard seltzer water. No one is drinking me.
| by Anonymous | reply 87 | July 26, 2021 8:41 PM |
R87, apparently someone is drinking you. See R8.
| by Anonymous | reply 88 | July 26, 2021 8:48 PM |
It's me. I'm the twink that's drinking all the White Claw Seltzer. Ughh. I'm so bad.
| by Anonymous | reply 89 | July 26, 2021 8:55 PM |
I'm the 22 year old who leaves 10 minutes into the party because I'm not ready to come out yet.
I thought I was. but I'm not.
| by Anonymous | reply 90 | July 26, 2021 8:59 PM |
I’m the bowl of macaroni salad that sat out for 8 hours. The twinks who wouldn’t eat earlier and got high will eat me because I’m all that’s left.
| by Anonymous | reply 91 | July 26, 2021 9:13 PM |
I'm the twink who just moved to town...I will get trashed and make a fool of myself
| by Anonymous | reply 92 | July 26, 2021 9:20 PM |
I am the shock you get, when you see most of these guys in daylight for the first time
| by Anonymous | reply 93 | July 26, 2021 9:21 PM |
Sorry to interrupt. Joel here from down the street. Has anyone seen a small white poodle that goes by the name “Mitzi”?
| by Anonymous | reply 94 | July 26, 2021 9:26 PM |
I’m the 387th time someone used a pool noodle to mimic an enormous penis. I am not the least bit amusing.
| by Anonymous | reply 95 | July 26, 2021 9:56 PM |
I’m the double-X porn starlet lurking in a strategic corner, perpetually surrounded by an invisible but impenetrable barrier of “waiting for someone better to show up.”
| by Anonymous | reply 96 | July 26, 2021 10:06 PM |
I'm the selfie cunt taking pictures of my dick in the guest bathroom to post on my OnlyFans
| by Anonymous | reply 97 | July 26, 2021 10:08 PM |
I'm the cocoon just waiting...
| by Anonymous | reply 98 | July 27, 2021 12:02 AM |
I’m Maria, the Mexican cleaning lady. I arrive the next day and immediately quit in protest when I see semen on the ground of the outdoor shower, by the hot tub, even on the bathroom floor. Ay dios!
| by Anonymous | reply 99 | July 27, 2021 12:12 AM |
Maria. Wait until you see what those Godless heathens did to your leftover tamales in the refrigerator. Madre Mia!
| by Anonymous | reply 100 | July 27, 2021 12:15 AM |
I'm Mike, I don't know any of these assholes running in and out of my house like they own the fucking place. I can't even THINK of my peonies until the Xanax kicks in.
Never again. I'm putting my foot down and we are going back to Palm Springs with the regular crowd for our winter gathering.
And they will fucking LIKE it god damn it.
| by Anonymous | reply 101 | July 27, 2021 12:22 AM |
I’m the 60-year-old hippie with a frizzy gray ponytail who just HAS to be the only naked guy at the party.
| by Anonymous | reply 102 | July 27, 2021 12:25 AM |
I'm the empty vial of poppers floating in the deep end of the pool.
| by Anonymous | reply 103 | July 27, 2021 12:27 AM |
Euro here. Where is this all happening? L,A.?
| by Anonymous | reply 104 | July 27, 2021 12:29 AM |
HI!!! Nice to meet you!!! I'm ANAL HERPES! Oh, wait.... I've met all you guys already. Nevermind.
| by Anonymous | reply 105 | July 27, 2021 12:29 AM |
I'm the angry one inch who insists on telling everyone how cold the water is.
| by Anonymous | reply 106 | July 27, 2021 12:30 AM |
I’m poz face and paunch, I’m everywhere. Unfortunately.
| by Anonymous | reply 107 | July 27, 2021 12:30 AM |
R104, Fort Lauderdale Florida, Palm Springs California, and Fire Island New York.
| by Anonymous | reply 108 | July 27, 2021 12:31 AM |
I’m so many guys 0 feet away
| by Anonymous | reply 109 | July 27, 2021 12:35 AM |
If any one is scratching their head about this Mike guy, he was born from a really fun thread from back in 2018. I always think I'm the last to remember him, but when I saw two different posters name check him here, I got a little sappy. Don't worry, I MARY!-ed myself right after.
Here's the thread for the Palm Springs Gathering. Back when life was just a wee bit easier.
Unless you were an uptight mess named...Mike.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 110 | July 27, 2021 12:37 AM |
I'm the sling on the side of the house where guests can inconspicuously get away to play.
| by Anonymous | reply 111 | July 27, 2021 12:39 AM |
[quote] Sorry to interrupt. Joel here from down the street. Has anyone seen a small white poodle that goes by the name “Mitzi”?
Joel, you lovable young darling. Mitzi is a Lhasa Apso!
| by Anonymous | reply 112 | July 27, 2021 1:04 AM |
I'm the little twink who turned 18 yesterday and who is getting gangbanged in the master bedroom by a bunch of 50 year olds today. Happy birthday to me!
| by Anonymous | reply 113 | July 27, 2021 1:04 AM |
I'm the extra chlorine tablets.
| by Anonymous | reply 114 | July 27, 2021 1:24 AM |
I'm the sock full of birdseed Jory stuffed in his speedo to impress the college kids. He tried a potato last year, but it fell out in the pool.
| by Anonymous | reply 115 | July 27, 2021 2:19 AM |
I'm the jar with about eight dollars in it put in by the host thinking people would donate. The eight dollars is gone after the party is over.
| by Anonymous | reply 116 | July 27, 2021 3:22 AM |
I'm the flowerpot filled with sand that's the one ashtray, and I'm on the most remote table.
I usually have a crowd around me.
| by Anonymous | reply 117 | July 27, 2021 3:25 AM |
[quote] I'm the jar with about eight dollars in it put in by the host thinking people would donate. The eight dollars is gone after the party is over.
And so is the jar!
| by Anonymous | reply 118 | July 27, 2021 3:33 AM |
I'm the Senatrice, showing up in this tasteful ensemble and wowing all the young gentlemen.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 119 | July 27, 2021 3:47 AM |
I'm the pale white guy wearing a large floppy sun hat, big old people sunglasses and wrapped in a sheet. Not an inch of skin is exposed. I burn no matter what. I have PTSD from several trips to the beach as a child. I wait until dusk and strut around in my thong.
| by Anonymous | reply 120 | July 27, 2021 3:57 AM |
I’m the pool filter that is clogged by morning. Pubic hair, a tooth, possibly a toupee or a small rodent, several cheap wrist bracelets that dissolved from the chlorine, a few drink umbrellas and a neon neoprene thong caused the need to call a plumber and a $400 service call. The real offender were the anal beads that plumber unceremoniously dropped into the hostess’s hand. The owner of the beads was never identified, you know who you are.
| by Anonymous | reply 122 | July 27, 2021 4:24 AM |
I am the sign about people with active diarrhea in the last 14 days not using the pool. I have been ignored.
R114---You are never enough.
| by Anonymous | reply 123 | July 27, 2021 9:49 AM |
I’m the fake stone grotto made of polymers and resin that looks like stone, my paint is chipping.
| by Anonymous | reply 124 | July 27, 2021 10:10 AM |
I’m the identical barbed wire tattoos on several of the over 50 guys’ sagging biceps. Young’uns, ye be warned!
| by Anonymous | reply 126 | July 27, 2021 1:15 PM |
50 year olds fucking 18yr olds? Gross. Oh .. Im the fat jewish guy that everyone ignores until they find out Im a producer.. and filthy rich;
| by Anonymous | reply 127 | July 27, 2021 1:25 PM |
I am Peter Thiel watching over the fresh meat
| by Anonymous | reply 128 | July 27, 2021 3:31 PM |
I'm the weed someone brought and everyone laughed at me asking where the good drugs are.
| by Anonymous | reply 129 | July 27, 2021 4:13 PM |
I'm the assorted cheese platter that Tommy the catering queen brought with him. Tommy asks everyone when he arrives if they'd like to try a slice, and they all politely decline. Tommy asks every arriving guest if they'd like a slice as soon as they come in, and they all politely decline. Tommy periodically reminds the guests during the course of the party that I exist, and they all still politely decline. A hissy fit is looming.
| by Anonymous | reply 130 | July 27, 2021 6:15 PM |
I’m the bad breath that accompanies anyone who samples Tommy’s cheese plate.
| by Anonymous | reply 133 | July 27, 2021 6:52 PM |
These are INCREDIBLY RARE CHEESES from countries you've never even HEARD of. Do you understand that? Can you queens comprehend that or is the neurosyphilis just too far gone? I could have saved these cheeses for a ritzy gala or a high profile fundraiser but I brought it HERE for YOU UNGRATEFUL COCKHOOVERS! Should I bring Easy Cheese next time? Will that be more up your blown-out alleys, you cum-coated piles of coke shit?
Well, that's perfectly fine. Now I know who WON'T be coming with me to Tom Bianchi's birthday bash.
| by Anonymous | reply 134 | July 27, 2021 7:04 PM |
I’m the boundaries that Tommy has stated NOW, instead of THEN.
| by Anonymous | reply 135 | July 27, 2021 7:06 PM |
I’m the flaccid penises that result from too much booze and coke.
| by Anonymous | reply 136 | July 27, 2021 8:20 PM |
I’m the diarrhea from too much crystal!
| by Anonymous | reply 137 | July 27, 2021 8:25 PM |
I'm the mould in the shower.
| by Anonymous | reply 138 | July 27, 2021 10:12 PM |
I'm the desperate posturing to appear butch.
| by Anonymous | reply 139 | July 27, 2021 10:24 PM |
We're the token lesbian couple, authentically pulling off butch effortlessly.
| by Anonymous | reply 140 | July 27, 2021 10:25 PM |
I’m the pre-op FTM who’s been crying in the bathroom for half an hour because everyone’s avoiding them.
| by Anonymous | reply 141 | July 27, 2021 10:34 PM |
^^^ ‘He’ was triggered because someone misgendered him using his dead name!
| by Anonymous | reply 142 | July 27, 2021 10:53 PM |
I am the host's caftan. Hopeful that I'll be discarded later, but secretly knowing that I'll be returned to the closet later in the day. Unruffled and uncreased.
| by Anonymous | reply 143 | July 27, 2021 11:17 PM |
I’m Veveetastan, national source of Tommy’s rare cheese platter.
| by Anonymous | reply 144 | July 27, 2021 11:23 PM |
[quote] I’m the flaccid penises that result from too much booze and coke.
And diabetes
| by Anonymous | reply 145 | July 27, 2021 11:51 PM |
I'm the shy, 5'9" tidy, sleeves of my polo shirt (which I won't take off) just so, short hair and body of death, just kid of lurking, but being polite to everyone. I'll only last 15 minutes here because by then the *other* hottest guy at the party will have found me like a moth to a flame and we'll be gone.
| by Anonymous | reply 146 | July 28, 2021 12:33 AM |
I'm the pencil eraser-like nipples on many of the "over 40" crowd. I'm confused why my owner likes us being pulled, tweaked and abused all the fucking time.
| by Anonymous | reply 147 | July 28, 2021 1:00 AM |
I’m a super friendly, genuine, in shape cute guy that attempts to say hello and start conversations with just about everybody at the party… About any old subject. I’m100% ignored. I don’t have bad breath btw. This is probably 150th gay gathering/event that I’ve been to where I’ve gotten the cold shoulder. This is the last party I’m coming to… I give up on the gays.
| by Anonymous | reply 148 | July 28, 2021 1:06 AM |
R148 does such a stereotype actually exist? I'd be so into meeting him and spending time with him at this horrible pool party.
| by Anonymous | reply 149 | July 28, 2021 1:12 AM |
I’m peeing in the pool, and now you all have AIDS.
| by Anonymous | reply 150 | July 28, 2021 1:22 AM |
I'm the shared UTI. My PCP tells me to wear condoms and "inform my partners" but he's straight and clearly ignorant.
| by Anonymous | reply 151 | July 28, 2021 2:06 AM |
I'm the guy who offered the pool boy $10,000 to get naked. I probably would have had the same result if I offered $500. He didn't manscape, the other guests were appalled. I still have a pube stuck in my throat. I consider it a badge of honor.
| by Anonymous | reply 152 | July 28, 2021 2:24 AM |
R130 Has Tommy met Mike yet?
| by Anonymous | reply 153 | July 28, 2021 2:33 AM |
I'm the awkward butterfaced ginger with a full bush
| by Anonymous | reply 154 | July 28, 2021 3:16 AM |
r153 Tommy and Mike are rivals. Their unfortunate similarities repel them from each other like two matching magnetic poles trying to connect. They only invite each other to their parties and vacations out of one-upmanship.
| by Anonymous | reply 155 | July 28, 2021 3:22 AM |
I'm the constant dinging of everyone's Grindr account
| by Anonymous | reply 156 | July 28, 2021 3:51 AM |
I'm the constant ringing of the doorbell from the FedEx guy, the UPS guy or a food delivery guy. They are all asked to bring the package/food around back. They all run screaming half naked and blind back to their vehicles. The only one who doesn't is the Mary Kay guy.
| by Anonymous | reply 157 | July 28, 2021 3:58 AM |
I’m hole. Waiting to be presented.
| by Anonymous | reply 158 | July 28, 2021 4:12 AM |
I'm the drunk who took an Uber because I know I was going to get blitzed. The next day, I return to the pool to search for my lost wallet and phone, which I never find.
| by Anonymous | reply 159 | July 28, 2021 4:18 AM |
[quote] The next day, I return to the pool to search for my lost wallet and phone, which I never find.
They left early, sharing the same Uber with your dignity
| by Anonymous | reply 160 | July 28, 2021 4:20 AM |
I'm the delusional self-image held by r148.
| by Anonymous | reply 161 | July 28, 2021 4:23 AM |
I'm the guy who was on the diving team in college and gets off by showing how he still has his form 20 years later as he forces the entire pool to part in the middle so he can dive every 2 minutes.
| by Anonymous | reply 162 | July 28, 2021 11:45 AM |
I'm the hot college dude quietly chastising myself for suspending my Prep regimen through covid, and now have to go through all that clinician nonsense to get my prescription repeats renewed. Hate myself for not looking after it 3 months ago, because now I'm so effen horny that I'd bottom for half the tragic trolls at this party. I seriously just need to get plowed mercilessly. I so hate myself right now!
| by Anonymous | reply 163 | July 28, 2021 5:35 PM |
R163
Said no hot college dude ever.
| by Anonymous | reply 164 | July 29, 2021 5:36 AM |
I’m the little plastic bag of cocaine Mike left under the potted plant in the bathroom for us to share.
But someone else - Missy - has discovered and stolen me. And now I’m off to some lesbian bbq.
| by Anonymous | reply 165 | July 29, 2021 5:52 AM |
I am the cell phone dropped in the pool by the gay taking constant selfies
| by Anonymous | reply 166 | July 29, 2021 5:59 AM |
Was the last selfie of the gay face down in the pool?
| by Anonymous | reply 167 | July 29, 2021 6:32 AM |
I am the fact that HOT DOGS LOOK LIKE COCKS!!!!!!
You will be reminded of this fact, again and again and again and again.
| by Anonymous | reply 168 | July 29, 2021 6:38 AM |
I am the applied dab of mustard on the "funny one's" chin. He will spend hours pretending it's cum he didn't notice. He's a riot.
| by Anonymous | reply 169 | July 29, 2021 1:07 PM |
Mustard, R169?
If your cum looks like mustard, I'd have things looked at by a doctor ASAP.
Just sayin'.
| by Anonymous | reply 170 | July 29, 2021 6:29 PM |
R170
Honey. Mayo is nothing but fat. Mustard is low fat and low carb. Stop typing fat.
| by Anonymous | reply 171 | July 29, 2021 11:07 PM |
I’m the 2021 gays shoving their 2020 Covid fat into their 2019 speedos.
| by Anonymous | reply 172 | August 10, 2021 7:24 AM |
I’m the cum that gets stuck in the filters.
| by Anonymous | reply 173 | August 10, 2021 7:31 AM |
I'm the new hot guy who dances with each of a hot couple. Both of them try to discretely make it known they want ro meet up later alone.
| by Anonymous | reply 174 | August 13, 2021 3:18 AM |
I'm the level-headed gay that turned down the invitation based on their previous pool party.
| by Anonymous | reply 175 | August 13, 2021 3:30 AM |
I'm the mortified homeowner who realizes he possibly rented his house to a porn studio.
| by Anonymous | reply 176 | August 13, 2021 3:33 AM |
I'm the thrifty half of the couple hosting the party. All I can think about is the water bill to fill the pool just this once for the party. I want to fill it in.
| by Anonymous | reply 177 | August 13, 2021 4:21 AM |
I’m Lizsha!!!!! Doing Foshhee kickshhh poolshide boysh!
| by Anonymous | reply 178 | August 13, 2021 4:42 PM |
I'm the sores that will show up on five dicks by Tuesday. Don't ask.
| by Anonymous | reply 179 | August 13, 2021 6:33 PM |
I’m the gay couple with kids… that show up WITH our kids. When we see that everyone is fucking, doing drugs, playing fashion show & treating each other like garbage.: we make a run for it covering our kids eyes. We have to explain to them later that not all gay people are the same.
| by Anonymous | reply 180 | August 13, 2021 9:00 PM |
[quote]I’m the gay couple with kids… that show up WITH our kids.
Well of course you showed up with your kids. That's the only reason you had them, isn't it? To accessorize with. We honestly thought you`d have the intelligence to drop your `holier than thou because we`re bona-fide parents now` fuckery and show up without them; but of course we forgot that those kids are your entire identity mask.
| by Anonymous | reply 181 | August 13, 2021 10:44 PM |
I’m the oddly positioned statue of the patron saint, St. Benefits.
| by Anonymous | reply 182 | August 13, 2021 10:49 PM |
I'm the several handles of vodka, chilling and the plastic cups they will be served in.
Everyone loves me because I'm practically carb-free.
| by Anonymous | reply 183 | August 13, 2021 10:52 PM |
I’m the fit gays who brought hard seltzer because beer has too many carbs. By evening’s end, we will be drinking everything, including whatever you had in your cup when you set it down for a moment.
| by Anonymous | reply 184 | August 13, 2021 11:14 PM |
I’m Karen from next door and I’m the one who called the cops on you sodomites.
| by Anonymous | reply 185 | August 13, 2021 11:28 PM |
I am this sign in every yard on the street, other than the gay couple’s yard.
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 186 | August 13, 2021 11:35 PM |
I’m the pool, and I need a round of CIPRO washed down with a stiff bourbon, no ice.
| by Anonymous | reply 187 | August 13, 2021 11:36 PM |
I'm the shy good-looking nerd who found the dim library nook leafing though the Keats and e.e. cunmmings. My 11 thick inches waits unconcerned.
| by Anonymous | reply 188 | August 13, 2021 11:43 PM |
Sounds like R188 needs a good, stiff bourbon, too.
| by Anonymous | reply 189 | August 13, 2021 11:45 PM |
I am the hand towels in the guest bathroom that will never be clean again...
| by Anonymous | reply 190 | August 14, 2021 1:24 PM |
I’m the burst of laughter from an elder gay that turns into a hacking phlegmy smoker’s cough.
| by Anonymous | reply 191 | August 14, 2021 1:56 PM |
I'm the water in the pool. I feel violated. Nobody has asked me if I'm OK!
| by Anonymous | reply 192 | August 14, 2021 2:40 PM |
I’m the guy with long hair and a beard. Im a Boulder type. i have the biggest dick at the party. Unfortunately no one will find out. I don’t look like a cross between Dennis the Menace and a praying mantis walking the runway.
| by Anonymous | reply 193 | August 15, 2021 1:10 AM |
I’m their 17 year old neighbor that recently came out of the closet so obviously I need to go over and check it out. After two hours of hanging out I realize I’d rather go back in the closet than associate myself with this type of gay.
| by Anonymous | reply 194 | November 13, 2021 7:42 PM |
I’m the Crystal meth in a tiny baggie with red hearts printed on it.
| by Anonymous | reply 195 | November 13, 2021 7:44 PM |
I’m the 1 guy out of 100 that’s not drinking or doing drugs.
| by Anonymous | reply 196 | November 13, 2021 7:52 PM |
I'm an album of photos from a gay pool party in 1988. See the link!
Offsite Link| by Anonymous | reply 197 | November 13, 2021 11:29 PM |
I’m the sad homo asking for pics with the hot guy for his Instagram.
| by Anonymous | reply 198 | November 14, 2021 2:19 PM |
