The bitchy column (I've read better snark, it's the boldness that's so amusing. My bolds:)
When Harry runs back to his family, where could Meghan go next?
Any sequel would need a major plot twist if the Sussexes are ever going to re-monetise The Greatest Love Story Ever [bold]Sold[/bold]
Talk about being ‘almost unsurvivable’. Is it over? Have they gone? Please say there’s no more to come. I want my life back. I would hazard a guess that we all do. You remember, that prelapsarian time before we’d ever heard of Montecito, before the scattergun accusations of treachery and racism, before the creepy footage of a couple allegedly in extremis being filmed by an unknown hand at all times of the day and night.
Boredom was also starting to set in, until I had a premonition of the only possible sequel to this soap opera – When Meghan Met Tyler.
How great would that be? Stay with me on this, on closer examination it makes every bit as much sense as the original. Not only is Tyler Perry single, according to Wikipedia, he’s absolutely loaded and kindly to boot.
He also felicitously hates the House of Windsor, based on Meghan’s account – and let’s face it, who wouldn’t – and as daughter Lilibet’s godfather he practically threw his own Boston Tea Party.
“I got off the phone, took it all in, then I called them back and I go: ‘Hold on a second. Does this mean we gotta go over there and do all of that in the church with them. . . Because I don’t wanna do all of that.’”
Is that not the very definition of a keeper? Oh, and as a film producer he can document every second of the friendship that will surely blossom into romance after Harry realises his folly in deserting The Firm and flees whence he came; to revel once more in the comforting familiarity of draughty old piles with leaky roofs, those weird family gatherings he misses and the wickedly funny bantz of his old army mates.
Given they’ve wrung every last drop of 16-bathroom $15-million new build in California, it’s hard to imagine how else the pair will earn a crust in future.
As it is, the upshot of six long hours of self-aggrandisement and anguish is that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex were always looking for a simpler life.
Truth and peace was what they really sought. Who would have guessed?
