still hanging with the husbands in Chicago
jakejacob01 Not sure how @circuitmax puts up with these two crazy FoMo’s (former Mormon Homos). Chilly Chicago but worth it to see these boys.
I’ve been at a loss for words this weekend. Not in a good or bad way, simply because my mind is content with “simply being.” It’s an odd and unfamiliar feeling but I welcome it like any other new experience.
For years I’ve existed in the false paradigm that I had total control over my own emotions. Arrogant, I know. Any time I felt emotions that were too primal for my higher functional reasoning to control I would get frustrated that I was failing. After years of struggling, trial and error, perceived failures, and reality checks I have come to understand that emotions are not meant to be controlled by some logistical algorithm or flow chart. Emotions are meant to be exactly what they are: illogical, disorganized, labile, unreasonable, adventuresome.
So now what do I do when I think my own emotions are interfering with what my logical brain wants? I’ve learned to stop fighting them, my emotions need to be felt, acknowledged, respected, and especially lived in. I’ve learned even healthy compartmentalization sometimes is overcome and they boil over. I have to let myself feel, cry, laugh, or simply walk through the day in how I feel.
I’ve also learned that there’s a balance. Wallowing in how I feel now doesn’t mean I need to wallow 10 minutes later. Part of allowing myself to feel sad or angry is also allowing myself to acknowledge and then move forward, feeling peace, contentment, or even numb. And then enjoy the amazing parts of my life, my hobbies, my interests. Talking with my loved ones is essential to my personal balance especially in recognizing and assisting when my emotional reserve is compromised.
At the end of the day I always want to have more good days than bad, more happiness than sorrow, and give more kindness than strife to those around me. I’m not perfect, and honestly I’m not trying to be. I’m simply trying to be my best self, flaws and mistakes included.
#deepthoughts #gymbros #mirrorselfie #selfcare #fomos #youreperfecttoday
