Best Lana Turner Picture

Funny that someone should bring up Jess Lange in that mess of a remake of POSTMAN.

Turner was an awful actress. I think that's fair to say, and I actually quite like her. I don't care for Lange, though, who's equally unskilled but in a different way. However, I do like Turner in POSTMAN.

I remember being struck when I first saw it at how sexy Turner seemed -- to a gay man. Maybe 'sensual' would be a better word. I didn't find myself reaching for thinking about her body when I was trying to knock one out that night, but I think it's one of the rare occasions (or at least the closest I ever came) to sort of being aware that someone of the sex I wasn't attracted to was in fact appealing.

But of course how would I know?

When Turner was on Donahue in the early '80s (it's on YouTube) around the time of the release of the remake of POSTMAN, he asked her about it. She said something along the lines of she hadn't seen it but saw the trailer so she didn't need to. She was right.

The frau audience, already fawning over the fan-fluttering Turner, agreed to the very '80s refrain of "it-ain't-like-it-used-to-be-grr-sex-on-televison-bad-not-actually-as-sexy-as-the-old-days". But it's hard to say they're wrong. Lange, for all of her grunting and moaning and huffing and puffing and screaming, doesn't even come close to being as effective as Turner in the role. And seems, at least to a man posting on DL, far less sexy. She's just too obvious. She lacks whatever it was that Turner had -- and though she didn't have much talent -- she had something.

What was it? I'm trying to imagine a male Turner in POSTMAN... someone exactly the same just a man: they'd be a little white trash, nice-looking but not too untouchable, but still glamorous... hot and cold. That kind of mix. It works for Turner in that role despite the fact her line readings are as clunky as they are in everything.

There aren't any other female characters in that film, are there? Unless very minor. I can't remember them. Maybe that's why the film and her performance are both successful. She's like a sexual magnet. A white vision in a pitstop diner. It's very evocative. The only woman around for miles maybe. No Ann Dvorak to out-act her like in A LIFE OF HER OWN (now there's a good performance).

The film really uses the B&W photography and pent-up Code morality to its advantage. That's partly what the remake misses. Turner really plays up to that somehow. I think for the same reasons I couldn't take my eyes of that photo of her on the witness stand. Just seems so Hollywood.

So, yeah, put POSTMAN down among her best anyway.

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